Judgemental non-parents - what's your worst experience?

[Gemini1974]

Met up with an old friend recently (childless), in a pub restaurant. No children herself but obviously knows all about parenting and where everyone else is going wrong! Comments include

"Why is he not using a knife properly, he is 3, he should be used to full size cutlery by now. Is he 'behind?"

"Why can't he sit still for 5 minutes?" Er because he is 3?

"If he were my child, he would be sitting quietly. I would control him" er good luck with that then!

"Tell him people are staring at him when he misbehaves, that will embarrass him into behaving" Er, he doesn't give a shit, he is 3. He is only aware of himself and his immediate requirements!

To put this into perspective, this was a child friendly pub and empty apart from one other couple with kids. My boy wasnt running around, wasn't damaging anything , just bouncy and excitable.

Anybody else have to deal with judgemental comments from people with no experience if kids at all!!

I had and argument a discussion with a childless colleague about children in supermarkets. She said that ideally they should not be there at all, but if they are they should be confined to the trolley at all times.

I explained that a strong and wriggly 2 yr old might not agree with that plan, and actually perhaps the parent in question is trying their best but apparently she once took her 2 yr old nephew to the supermarket and he sat in the trolley, without complaining, all the way round - so there is no reason why all other children should not behave in the same way.

She has opinions on all aspects of childcare (and the rest of life) and I have since learnt not to get drawn into discussions.

She is currently pregnant, can't wait to see how this pans out

It always seems to happen in supermarkets with me... I had just done a big shop and ds1 (he was only about 2yo at the time) had been really good but was now tired and grouchy in the trolley so I'd given him a dummy. The cashier lady didn't even look at me and just said to him "what's that horrible thing doing in your mouth then?" I said loudly and coldly "because his mother put it there." I know some people are against dummies and that is their opinion, but seriously, how rude!

Oh mummy I had that recently! "Get that horrible thing out of your mouth and let me see your smile" Fair enough but i I had taken it out she wouldn't be seeing a smiling baby she would be seeing a miserable tired one.

Just out of fairness I should note that I had all the answers pre baby. The difference is that my judgement was an internal monologue