Step Families!!!

[Em1976]

I have a daughter of 3 and half, very bright for her age, the problem is that my partner and i have moved into a house together with my daughter. He doesn't have any children of his own and hasn't much dealings with children. He is trying his best, he understands and respects my wishes on how i want her brought up, but I don't know what to do, my daughter told him last night that he wasn't her mum or dad and he can't tell her what to do!! Sometimes she can be so loving to him and then 5 mins later she's being really horrible to him. I sit her down and talk through what she has just said and asked her why, she has no answer. She started nursery 3 weeks ago and since then has become very ratty and wingy at my childminders and at home... i just don't know what to do!?!?

Thank you for all your advice this has made things a little clearer. This issue is far deeper than one first thought!
Valleygirl have you and DH had a birth child, how have you delt with that? How have the children reacted to that. This is another matter on my mind, what if i was to have a child with DP how will DD react and deal with it. Look on the bright side, if life was simple how boring would it be

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I don't have a child of my own, though we are now on the ttc path in life - this is me who 2 years ago announced to her bf that i hoped he didn't mind but i never EVER wanted to have kids of my own! Such was the initial horror i went through with step kids!!!
Anyway I am 100% certain that if you and your dp decide to have a baby together that it won't be a problem for your daughter - like stressyhead said you can discuss this with her, make her see how exciting it would be to have a little baby brother or sister to play with - and to boss around!