Problems with first child after second one starts moving

[Em32]

Anyone else had problems with this? Ds is very strong willed but charming when he wants to be. Since dd starting rolling and sitting up though (and he moved up a class at nursery) he has turned into nightmare child. I seem to spend all day with him kicking off, throwing stuff at me or just throwing stuff, hitting me, refusing to eat (mealtimes are a process of stand offs where first lot goes in the bin then he eventually eats when he realises he won't get any lunch or a yoghurt otherwise) I am knackered and fed up by the end of lunch as dd has decided that 5.30am is waking up time. I've tried playing more with him and we've had one or two good days in the last couple of weeks but mostly it has just been really hard. His nursery (he goes three days a week) are struggling with him biting as well. I feel about 50 at the moment ..... They are 2.3 yrs and 8.5 months BTW

i had the same thing, and again when ds2 started to walk. They are just feeling threatened a little, it DOES pass i promise. I am currently in the he can walk part!
Finding that if i am ridiculously positive to DS1 while pretending to ignore DS2 (which of course u can't really!) then DS1s behaviour is much better. Part of it is an age thing too

if that made any sense at all ur a genious! Mine are 13 months and 3 yrs

Oh Em32,
i am in the same place too.
Ds1 seemed to get threatened when ds2 started to eat and kept shouting "he's too little mummy, stop him" and he got very upset.

It makes sense, but is very hard to deal with. I just try and tell ds1 what may happend in the next few weeks. I slowly introduced that ds2 may start crawling, and now ds1 is as pleased as I am about it (unless ds2 is going for ds1's fave toys. Moving ds2 into the same room as ds1 has beena nightmare logisically, ds1 threw things at him for quite a while.

But, there is some light at the end of the tunnel, today ds1 was running up and down the hall and ds2 was chasing him crawling. they were both laughing and having fun- i o dodn't have to "stage amange" it and keep everyone happy, IYSWIM.
They were playing together!

Keep strong, and keep calm and just stay constant. Slowly ds1 gets the message, and is now so proud every day when he keeps saying "i am kind to ds2, mummy, I make him happy"

Thanks - good suggestion telling him dd is going to start crawling eventually ..... will try that one. Nice to know I am not alone. I really felt like giving up today but just keep reminding myself he is only 2. A break from both of them would be nice tbh, just for a day or two (even though dd is an easy baby) but can't as still bf dd and she doesn't do bottles. Hope I'm not alone in feeling like that otherwise will feel even more drowning in guilt than usual!

a lovely long bath helps! take a book and some wine and it really helps u unwind

I really sympathise. Its very hard work with 2 little ones.

I tried to think up "games" that we could all play together where DS (the older one) got the starring role and DD played a support part. We played Koala Brothers in our tandem double buggy(DD was Ned!), Postman Pat (DD=Jess) and spent ages pretending that DD had crashed her baby trike and DS was policeman who had come to sort it out. I made DD "say" things to DS like "Wow you are a really cool big bro" etc. It sounds cheesy but it kept DS occupied & it cheered us all up & somehow it reduced the time available for throwing/ shouting.

When things got really bad I used to stuff them both in them pram and go out for a walk.

It is hard but it doesn't last forever & my 2 now have quite sweet moments when they play on their own together without my help - so I can lie about exhausted after 2 years of it.