Do I need more structure for my 4 month old baby?

[honeytea]

My ds is 4 months old and I am starting to notice a big difference between him and his same aged "friends" at the baby groups we go to.

Ds is still very much like a newborn in the way he eats and sleeps, he is very big (10 pounds at birth) so he tends to feed lots, we are ebf. He sleeps on me or sometimes in the pushchair when we are walking somewhere far. The other babies all seem to only sleep in their pushchair, they have all started either combi feeding or food (we live in a country where food is recomended from 4 months) The other parents seem to know when their baby is due to nap, some days my ds naps for an hour some days he sleeps for 5 hours in a row.

He sleeps really well at night, he wakes once at 3.30, I feed him and then he sleeps till 7ish.

Ds seems older in many ways, he is huge (size 9-12 month clothing) he can roll over and sit unaided, he is very sociable and loves chattig a singing.

I often get comments like he's like a newborn he will just sleep anywhere or he's very cuddly/clingy isn't he, he is happy to just cuddle up with me and watch what is going on when he is sleepy.

I worry that maybe I am holding him back by being so unstructured, I don't really want a structure that is unbreakable because we go to groups every day at all different times so if he needed to nap at the same time everyday it would restrict what we could do, but maybe I am being selfish.

[GingerJulep]

OK, so I'm not a mum yet (due July)... but your post made me feel so bad for you I had to reply to bump it up the page a bit.

What you're doing sounds absolutely fine.

Most people here don't recommend food at four months - too young. And most people wish their babies would sleep in more places more easily.

How the heck you could be holding him back by not having a strict schedule/cuddling/giving him the best baby sustenance on the planet I really don't know.

Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along shortly to reassure you as well!

[bettybyebye]

Sounds normal to me! My DS is 5 months old and still happy to sleep on me, on the mats at baby group and even on the floor at friend's houses! He also naps in his pushchair and car seat if we're out and about. Like your DS, he also sleeps really well at night, from 7pm to 6am straight. My philosophy is that as long as he sleeps well in the night, I won't stress about daytime naps
And also they grow up so quickly I would enjoy every last snuggle you can while he's this young!

[glorious]

My DD is a bit younger (3 months) so I'm no expert, but your DS sounds lovely to me and he can't be missing out if he's doing so well. In fact it sounds like he must be very secure and happy. I reckon if you are happy with how things are too then you should just keep going

[bettybyebye]

Forgot to say that all the babies of similar ages that we socialise with are the same, so I would just ignore what these other parents are saying to you! We're also waiting a few more weeks to start weaning...

[Smartiepants79]

The thing with this is, does they way your DS naps/feeds bother you?
Do you mind sitting and letting him sleep on you?
Do you mind demand feeding?
If not, then don't worry about it. It is doing him no harm if he is happy and growing.
Personally it would drive me nuts, I like my routine and a bit of predictability, but that's me, not you!

[ArtemisKelda]

Sounds fine to me. DD is now 15 weeks and we go by her schedule. She falls asleep in the pram, in the car and on me or DH. She happily fell asleep on my Mum earlier . We don't have a set routine, she has a feed when she's hungry and a nap when she's tired. I have no idea how long she'll nap for, it varies every day. She also loves watching everything around her.

If he's happy with what you're doing then you're doing it right.

[MamaMary]

My DD is nearly 4 months. She is exclusively bfed, feeds on demand and has no routine whatsoever. And we are both perfectly happy with this arrangement. :)

I won't be introducing solids till close to six months I'd say.

[honeytea]

Thank you so much for the reasurance :)

It makes me feel much better knowing there are other peopledoing the same thing as me.

I am happy to hold ds so much, I guess if I am happy and ds is happy I should feel like things are going right :)

[LittleMissLucy]

PS. If someone is saying your baby is like a newborn they're being overly competitive and more than a little rude. You don't need to listen to that kind of talk. I would suggest a big smile and move away to someone else (if possible!)