How old is too old???????

[Starryshine]

My 5 year old step child still has a dummy and is not for giving it up. As I don't have any kids of my own I'm not sure what age is normal for weening them off. Any advice welcome!

is he your stepchild as in you have permanent care .. or is he a weekend child

if permanent care then I think, providing their is neither recent trauma such as loss of a parent nor any special needs.. then you should bribe him to give it up

if weekend child then you have to leave it with the parents

but dentally .. he's too old .. and it'll damage his teeth

Starryshine, my dd is just 5 and a thumbsucker and it's really hard to stop her doing it.

Anyway, a good friend of mine tried taking the dummy away at Christmas (ie, Father Christmas took the dummy away and left presents instead). Birthday ? . Her dd was about 3.5 at the time so I would think at 5 more obvious bribes would be ok. Agree with Twiglett's advice though. Good luck!

I think most UK children would have stopped before 5 but it is still fairly evident in Europe where they start school later and such pressure is less. Perhaps he/she has become attached to it long term in the same way as our dd has a teddy comforter at night. She only stopped sucking her thumb at just over 4 (when there were concerns over her teeth). Somehow a child getting comfort from a thumb is more acceptable here than using a dummy and you see it in children older than 5 (also a harder habit to break as you cna't just chuck it!). If you are worried about it perhaps a reasoned suggestion of giving up for the tooth fairy and offering a substitute of his/her choice could break the habit would work.

Just a week end step parent but neither parents have mentioned much about it - doesn't sound like too much to worry about then. My nephew was bribed to give his up at 3 and hasn't missed it so I thought 5 may be a little old.

His Dad would like him to give it up but has made no suggestions on how to do it. I would like to support him on it.

Does your step child have it in their mouth when they are talking? Over use of dummies can have a detrimental effect on a child's ability to form particular speech sounds properly, which can then have an effect on their writing and spelling when they start school.

I have taught several children who had difficulties with speech and therefore literacy as a result of use of a dummy once they were talking.

He has had some trouble with pronunciation - W's instead of R's ( thing that quite alot of kids do that though) - but seems much better since he has been at school - maybe because he has dummy less than he used to?

My DD is nearly 6 and showing no signs, i think i have sucky children !

Umm, I sucked my fingers until about 26 (years old that is) - it became a sort of reflex action when watching telly etc. Can't remember stopping - i just sort of noticed that I never did it any more. Marginally less socially embarrassing than a dummy! Don't know if this confession is meant to serve as a warning or reassurance!

Oooh! Can I get away with blaming my mother???

I think 5 is too old for a dummy but I agree with twig that you can't do anything about it if you only see her/him at weekends.

Friend at high school sucked two fingers when she was concentrating on her work. Her teeth were OK!

My eldest ds was excuse for a friend to get her dd to ditch her dummy - there was a ceremonial handing over of dummy to my ds (a baby then!), and she's never looked back, or shown any resentment to ds. Perhaps you could find a baby and suggest this to your step child? But agree that you can't be the one to make the decision about when he gives up the dummy...

ps - dummy went in bin btw!