What do you do if your child's school doesn't have a uniform?

[scampadoodle]

The one thing I really don't like about DS1's new school (apart from the children calling the teachers by their first names, but that's a whole new thread! ) is that it doesn't have a uniform. Not sure how to approach it to make my life easier - should I just decide ad hoc each morning, or should I buy 3 or 4 sets of cheap, basic clothes for school & save his decent stuff for weekends? He'll be 5 in September.

What have other people done?

it's the beginning of the end MI you mark my words
if you allow children to dress in clothes that a different from (TO???I can never remember that one)
AND call teachers by their first names
WELL
I can hear a clatter of hooves...
ohno
it is the four horseman of the Apocalypse!
run! while you still can

I shall waddle, exhaustedly

TBH your last line may well explain the difference in attitude.

I teach some smashing kids. Kids so nice you go home at night and pray that your own kids end up half as nice. I could happily let these kids call me Martian, just like I can let my mates nice , well brought, up kids call me Martian. These kids know where to draw the line, and most importantly don't see being treated as equals (or near equals) by their teachers as a sign of weakness on the teachers part.

However I teach other kids who would see it as weakness....very sad but totaly true. These are the kisd that you can't have a nice laugh with, because they don't know where to draw the line....in fact many can't draw a line.

Similarly the 'nice' kids would wear reasonable kids....the other kids would not. the girls would look like 'working girls' and the boys like thugs. And then the behaviour would spread.

And for some bloody reason it is always the bad behaviour that spreads!

wear rreasonable clothes !

first names help me at ds1's school because we have to work as a partnership. If I am discussing my son's bowel movements and weeing in the bed and challenging behaviours it is far easier to do on first name terms- it's more of a partnership. All the mr Mrs stuff at mainstream school did my head in and was a real barrier to working together- it created a real them and us situation. First names contribute to us working as an equal team (absolutely essential in ds1's case).

I just posted this on the wrong thread, so thought I'd repeat it here on the right thread...

I went to a uniformed primary school and then one without a uniform, and I definitely remember getting picked on for my choice of clothes (and looking back at old photos I can see why - horrible mismatches of colours, winter skirts with summer t-shirts etc).

So I don't really buy this "no-one cares what you wear, just express your individuality" hello clouds malarkey.

my dd starts nursery next year and they have a school uniform of a blue sweatshirt with school crest white tshirt/shirt and grey trousers/skirts. i dont see a problem in this i think it looks nice and it saves time in the morning worrying about what to wear. when i was at school i had a uniform in infants juniors and seniors which was very strict and we called our teachers sir/miss apart from some teachers which in yr 11 let us call them by there first name and it never done me no harm and im sure it wont me dd

agree jj.

i don't have a problem with apernts calling me by my first name either....and it does help when you are dealing with ongoing issues.

Trying to get non verbal kids to say Mrs X is a total waste of time and effort. With NT kids though it can be very different.

I suppose mb it was the first sign that he was expected to be like everyone else, and they were going to "normalise" him, it would have only needed a brief explanation to the other children, far easier for them to adjust than him.

Anyway with ds2 starting school, we enter the mainstream world again in sept. Can't say I'm looking forward to it.

There was a very interesting article in the Times Ed on 'inclusion' for children with ASD. The author erred too much on the effect on the other kids for my taste, but his basic point is that it is totaly unreasonable for teacher to be expect to be 'expert' at dealing with complex conditions after being given a leaflet and and hours talk.

Just as an aside, do you know anything about support for ASD kids at university? Have an exceptional boy in year 11 (he redesigned ATP for a silicon based life form this week for example) and we want to start finding a suitable university for him for 2 years time. Connexions is a waste of time round with us and TBH isn't used to working with kids like him....totaly exceptional academicaly but needing social support. Any ideas where I could get info?

wow MB. dont know where youw ould start to be honest. maybe you could look into some ASD websites aimed at adults and find if they have any recommendatios of places they have attended.

As for the workign together point and it easier if kids call their teachers by first names...my DS has special needs and so i am always at school...no really i mean always!
and although the teachers are happy for me to cal them by first names and i do occasionlay, if ds is in the room i refer to them by MISS/SIR/MR XX

its the same as speaking to your hubby. would you be happy for your child to call you by your first name rather than mum/mummy etc?
no thats why when children are in ear shot we say things like "daddy can you pass the spuds" or whatever.

Eh? I wouldn't give a toss. I quite like them calling me Mummy, but if they want to call me by my name I hardly think that the entire fabric of our domestic arrangements will collapse (or at least collapse further ). If my partner started calling me Mummy I would be really rather worried.

they're getting closer
my dd1 calls me by my first name when she REALLY wants attention:
"mummy! mummy!! mummy!!! harpsichordcarrier!"

\link{http://www.users.dircon.co.uk/~cns\any use martian?}

I taught in a school with no uniform for many years, and we were called by our first names (you don't live in Islington, do you?!)

Most of the children wore jeans/cords/joggers with a t-shirt and sweatshirt, which became the sort of uniform. Occasionally we had little ones, who dressed themselves, coming in wearing rather individual outfits (batman pyjamas, with tu-tu over the top and sparkly wellies being my personal favourite), and there were a lot of Arsenal football kits about, but on the whole it really wasn't an issue, and I think that most parents didn't find it too much of a bind. I liked the fact that I wasn't sorting through and giving out 30 identical jumpers at the end of the day, with half of them unnamed! The main thing is that the clothes can be washed easily, are comfortable and not too precious (the children did used the get quite mucky when cooking, doing art, especially in the early years). The first name thing was great as well. I much preferred it to being "Miss Gladbag" and I loved the school.

Good luck for September!

LOL Batters!

MB - In terms of a secondary school I think that both uniform and more formal address play a definite role...and can then usefully be relaxed at 6th form again. All of us in the 'feral child' schools are talking about primary (and DS's certainly has a representative cross section of inner-city S London children!).

don't think i'd let my kids go to a school woithout some sort of uniform. Couldn't face the whole 'wot to wear' thing each am, have enogh problems deciding myself!

MB- sorry just seen this. Not good I'm afraid- have a friend with AS at university down here- supposedly one that's good with support- it's not.

How exceptional. Oxbridge exceptional? If so a College might be good. If not I'd check with local health authorities and SS and go for one in a town/city with decent local provision. If you can find any.

ds2 always calls dh by his first name, well he goes through phases, at the moment he calls him fatman.

JJ, probably yes. My mate who has been teaching for 30 years says that this lad is the brightest kid he has ever taught. I was also thinking that a nice small collage might be ideal. I'm going back to collage in the summer and might well put out some feelers.

oh MB he will be able to get disabled student's allowance, but so can every tom, dick and harry with dyslexia, so it doesn't come with added support or anything- but still worth applying for.

Erm my friend really struggles to be honest (is quite high functioning socially as well), and is older, it's still very hard for him. what's your student's relationship like with his parents, would living at home, or at least being quite local be an option? The type of support my friend needs is not available (with nearly disasterous consequences previously).

A college is your best bet. You know where I went? They're quite good with disabled students, and were always quite sympathetic to problems, they've had a blind student (and his dog I think!) before for example. I think they'd be worth asking.

Good relationship with parents (Ithink) but local uni is crapola.

The other prob is that although this kid is off the scale in science he isn't going to get 9a* grades at GCSE, and so collages migh not look at him

I'd recommend chatting to the admissions tutor at my old place, to see how they respond.