terrible day, dont like to confess to this

[ackerbee]

please dont judge me harshly - am desperately hoping this happens to other people, kind of have to know whether its just me or not
have a beautiful three month old dd, but today just hasnt worked out. I nearly let my baby fall off my lap this morning, and then later I tripped over the bloody computer cable when I was holding her and fell, pitched forwards with her in my arms, partially fell against the sofa, there was a definite jarring, although she didnt bump anything. she was fine, looked a bit shocked but then gave me a big smile immediately afterwards. it's completely thrown me, cant believe i could be that crap. we were going to go out shopping, sort of have to really as have birthday presents to buy, but am too scared to now. feel like am accident prone today, dont dare.
think its partly because am tired, but also wonder if am just going through a rubbish stage. seem to have run out of energy to play with her today too. we are doing some playtime, but I also cant seem to turn the telly off. am being lazy i know, wonder if the near misses are karma for being a terrible mum and not putting in the effort today.
last week was so different - worked so hard and we were grand, but now everything is different and i feel so disappointed in myself.
feel a tiny bit desperate

Have you got a baby gym? I put my 3 month old under it all the time. She loves batting the toys and I can get stuff done without worrying that she's bored. It's not neglect,it's improving her hand eye coordination

Hi ackerbee - glad to know things are better now, even if still tough at times.

Reading your OP I thought you had a couple of near accidents that gave you a slight shock, after something like that good to feel a bit thankful I think that all is well. Having a more lazy day and just being relieved that all was well is quite understandable I think.

And yes a bit of attention, play, and chat from you from time to time and she'll be quite happy !

Hope you have a nice day today. Are you going out anywhere today ? Park might be nice, or garden ?

Glad you're feeling better. Last week my son (10 months old) managed to get a little candle out of a drawer and ate a chunk out of it. He's into bins, I've caught him with his hand in the toilet bowl (I do normally close the door but was in there filling the bath). He's fallen backwards off of 2 stairs as the way our stairs are we've had to give him the bottom 2. I'm sure there will be more to come.

I'm a second time mum and I had a sort of breakdown at the three month mark, it's just a bit endless at the beginning. But I have positively revelled in the tv watching this time round as I know she doesn't need much and I need to keep my energy up for night times and ds. Being worried about it is a good sign, means you are already a good mum because mum equals guilt!

just wanted to check back in to say thank you to you all for helping me out - your reassurance made such a difference.
feeling much more sane now - well more relaxed anyway!
thank you for your kindness

Ah that's good to hear:)