in laws and visitors

[dontcarehow]

bit pissed off that my in laws have invited all their friends over to theirs when we visit. lo is only 6 weeks and i feel like it will all be a bit too much for her as she will no doubt be passed around. i feel the same about most visits but i can cope when its jst one or two people but by the sounds of it there is gping to be a house full. i think my main problem is that some of them are very domineering and will probably try and force advice on us and take over if she gets fussy which is bound to happen with all those people around. just wanted a vent really, i hope there are others who can sympathise. i know that these people are only excited to meet her but i just think its too early.

Really? Will it bother a 6 week old how many people are there?

Reading between the lines, you think it's too early for you and you're dreading it. But, it might be nice showing off dd and I bet there will be less people there than you are imagining. And nobody can force advice on you. People will be happy to see you and your new baby, it will be a joyful meeting. Don't hide her away from family.

I would find that really bloody irritating...i feel your pain! If it was me I might feign illness at the last moment...then make a plan for your in laws to visit you instead. Your happiness, and your bubba's, must come first.

I have an extremely domineering mil - to the point where she once made a date for me to meet a member of her family who was visiting our town - without even consulting me first - when my DS was 10 DAYS old!! She literally called up to say 'so and so will be visiting you at 2pm on this date' grrrrrrrrr

I think that if you feel too overwhelmed by the attention then you will have to say so. Do you have an escape plan where you can spend some quiet time away from the throng?

This happened to me wiv DS at 5 weeks old sum of DP family were taking over at a party n passing him round and wouldnt give him back so my partner and father in law physically removed him from them as DS and I were getting really worked up x shes your baby and its normal to be apprehensive if your not comfortable take her off them and stand ur ground i have a very overbearing aunty in law she seems to think she owns my son ! I found by not saying anything they thought it was ok x

Also i found myself taking DS off into another room for a feed in the peace and quiet helped us both relax (i was hiding just a little bit ) x

are you breast feeding? Perfect excuse to go off to another room. If not, also I'd go with DD needing to feed in private as she's fussy...

If they start handing her around, walk up with a big smile on your face saying "oh, she doesn't like being passed about, best I take her back before she starts screaming the place down, I'm sure noone wants that!"

If people start giving you advice just keep saying "no, it's not XXX, it's just she doesn't like big groups of people, you're a bit of a shy one aren't you DD?" with a little smile and "I'll just take her in the other room to calm down, you all carry on."

Be firm, stand your ground, you are the mum now, keep telling yourself "I'm the alpha woman now, they can't boss me about" - they will try, but you just make it clear you are ignoring them and think they are wrong. Remember, they are being rude by trying to make out you don't know your own child, there's nothing wrong with making it clear that you think you know your baby better than they do.

Alternatively, when are you supposed to be going to PILs? I'd get strategic diarrhea....