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Original poster

please tell me about your three-year-olds still in day/nightnappies

42 replies

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 10:01

OK, so the star chart was a waste of time and we're now onto a pasta jar reward scheme to try and get things moving. DS is completely uninterested in wearing pants and tells me, 'I not a big boy, I a little boy'.
I know all the stuff about waiting until they are ready, but I'm starting to be downright embarrassed! Almost no-one round here has such a big child still not trained.

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Original poster

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 14:20

Anyone?? pretty please?

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Greensleeves · 11/05/2006 14:22

My 3.6yo boy is still in pull-ups at night. He says he's "nearly ready". He told me when he was ready to go into pants during the day, and he was right, so I'm going to leave it a bit longer and just have a chat with him every so often and ask him whether he'd like to have a go at leaving the pull-ups off at night. I think he's coming round to the idea, they're quite often dry in the morning now, although not always. I am very against rushing or bullying children into toilet training before they are ready.

But cod is the expert.........

Original poster

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 14:23

Thanks for that. At the moment, though, night-time training seems a VERY long off!

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Greensleeves · 11/05/2006 14:24

re: the being ready to wear pants during the day - we did trips to the toilet (wees first and poos came later) from when he was about 2.5, in pullups. We bought him a step and smiley stickers to decorate it with, and a padded loo seat. He started going unaccompanied at about 3.2, wipes his own bum and washes hands etc now.

PrettyCandles · 11/05/2006 14:25

5yo ds is still in nappies at night, 3y5m dd toilet trained over the Easter break and is still in nappies at night.

Feel a bit better?

WigWamBam · 11/05/2006 14:28

My dd is almost 5 and still in nappies at night time. She was dry in the day shortly before she was 3, and it was another 15 months after that before she stopped having a nappy for a poo.

Don't be embarrassed, it's really not a big deal.

misdee · 11/05/2006 14:33

dd1 was still in nappys and 3.5yrs old. i did switch to cloth which did help with night training her. but getting her out of nappies during the day was awful. she had a poo-loo phobia, and i think my neighbours thought i was being awful to her when she screamed for a nappy to poo i nand i refused.

Original poster

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 14:41

Thanks so much, everyone. It really does help to hear all this. I hardly seem to meet anyone in real life who is going through the same thing!!!!

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Harpsichordcarrier · 11/05/2006 14:45

hello!
dd1 is three next week and is just dry day and night (in the last month or so)
but she is the first among her friends to get there. We waited till she was ready and she got it straight away, no hassles.
of the three boys we see a lot of (all just or nearly three) not one is reliable in the day at all. they all use the potty but none are trained.
one tried to do the training last week and he enede up not pooing for three days lots of misery all round so she has abandoned it for now
Frannyandzooey's ds is just turned three and he isn't trained either (she won't mind me saying because she is a big proponent of wait till they're ready)
wait till he's ready

Original poster

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 14:56

God, what a relief to hear all this! Although I knew the received wisdom is al children are different, and it may vary widely when it happens, it's hard when you don't have many actual examples in your circle of friends, isn't it? Thanks so much!

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mixed · 11/05/2006 14:59

dd is 3.2 and not potty trained (although she has weed in a potty first thing in the morning for a few times recently..). I suspect everyone thinks it's my fault for being a lazy cow (well I am, can't be bothered to clean carpets so waiting til she will straight go from nappies til potties without any accidents . ds stoped wearing nappies at nighttime til he was 5y...(more seriously, forcing him to do in a potty was a bit idea as mentioned earlier on this thread, he also became very constipated.).

WigWamBam · 11/05/2006 15:00

I don't agree with forcing them to use a potty either. It may actually help to see weeing and pooing as separate issues - he may be ready for one before he's ready for the other. Dd spent the 15 months between being dry and being clean with a huge and hysterical phobia of pooing in the toilet, and it was just not worth making a fuss or risking her being constipated over.

Greensleeves · 11/05/2006 15:01

Training them too early or against their will is so damaging, it's NOT worth it.

Mercy · 11/05/2006 15:02

Annie, I trained dd 'late' (according to my mum), she was 2.7 and was in night nappies way over 3.

I think I'll be training ds later too as I don't think he'll be remotely ready in the next few months (I had planned to try in July/August).

I also agree with not pushing them and waiting until they are ready.

dinosaure · 11/05/2006 15:02

DS1 is six (seven in July) and has only just started to be dry at night (from about two months ago).

expatinscotland · 11/05/2006 15:06

dd1 will be three next month and is in her pull up pants still. she's peed in the toilet a few times, but you have to offer her it, she doesn't ask just yet.

she'll get there when she's good and ready.

we don't have a garden for her to run around in nappyless and this rental flat is all carpet except for kitchen and bath so can't really let her go nappyless in the home, either.

yeahinaminute · 11/05/2006 15:07

My DD is 3yrs 4mnths - She has "accidents" on a daily/ twice daily/ even 3 daily basis - she just can't see what all the fuss is about - she's either too busy or i don't want to mummy !!
Have done the taking her off to the loo on the hour, every hour - but no - stubborn mare still widdles all down herself and then say's " never mind mummy - it all washes " !!
Can't even to begin to think about night - time training ..... Aaaargghh !

Anchovy · 11/05/2006 15:39

My nephew is rising 6 and still in nighttime nappies. He sleeps very deeply and just cannot seem to either hold on or wake up and go. My cab driver last night was telling me that his 5.5year old is exactly the same. Think it is very common, but people just don't talk about it.

Harpsichordcarrier · 11/05/2006 15:44

yes my nephew was still wearing a night nappy at 6/7
no big deal really and as you say much more common than people will talk about esp for boys

dinosaure · 11/05/2006 15:45

Anchovy, DS1 was the same - then all of a sudden about two months ago he just became dry at night - he still doesn't get up during the night to go to the loo. There is some hormone that the body has to produce in order to cut down the production of urine and my theory is that DS1 just wasn't producing this hormone before.

CountessDracula · 11/05/2006 15:48

my 3.8 yo dd is dry day and night but REFUSES to poo in a potty or loo. She goes and puts a nappy on and poos in that.

She has had probs with constipation and the paed has said just leave it. I do nag her but she won't do it!

Original poster

AnnieSG · 11/05/2006 17:31

God, you're all fantastic. Thanks SO much for all these stories. You have genuinely helped today. Any more, perchance?

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Yafta · 11/05/2006 17:38

Ds was three years 9 months before we managed to put pants on him. He kept saying he wasn't interested. DH took him off on a boy's shopping trip for pants and then pinned him down to put them on. He was dry in 3 days! It seems he was able to do it but had been scared of failing. He is still in night time nappirs (now aged 5.3)

Chandra · 11/05/2006 17:46

DS is 3yrs 3m and has been out of day nappies since he was 2y10m. A couple of months ago he started to be clean at night, he was clean for a full week but I wanted to wait until he was clean for 2... well, strategy fired back! he is now confident that is OK to wet the nappy and has not has a clean nappy in the morning since more than a month ago. So, if he doesn't seem ready, wait, but if he seems like he may be... take your chance before it's too late.

frumpygrumpy · 11/05/2006 17:53

My DD went onto pants fairly early but I think it was too much pressure too young and she got worried about nights. She wore night nappies til she was nearly 4. I guess what I'm saying is, don't give a shit what everyone else is doing, take the pressure away and let them decide.

DD made a friend at a gym class I took her to and I confided in her mum about the night nappies. I felt embarrassed. She said "oh I'm glad you said that because we're the same" and another mum said her 6 yr old was still in night nappies. When dd and I casually talked about night nappies and how her friend was trying without, she felt ready herself. I think be prepared for some accidents but let them decide and don't give a monkeys what others do.

BTW, if star charts etc work for you fine, but they never did for my dd it just felt like more pressure and she got sooo disappointed when she couldn't get a star. I binned it after 3 days and never used one again.

Good luck.

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