Would a 4th be mad with my history?

[quickchat]

I have a nrly 6 yr old DS, a 3 yr old DD and a 7 month old DS.

DD wishes she had a sister and Id love to give it a bash!! Not that another DS would matter !

Now, I had placenta previa, an emergency section and a generally torrid pregnancy with DS who was 3 weeks early.

I then had a good PG and relatively ok (if not loooooong) birth with DD but she was also 3 weeks early. Also fine though. I did end up with an under active thyriod after her.

I was happy with my lot but then I fell PG with DS 2 by surprise! I had a hard PG with DS and ended up with gestational Diabetes. Im not over weight but maybe because I have a thyroid issue im prone to other auto immune diseases now, who knows? It does mean i would be very likely to happen in further PG though.

My birth with DS2 was mad. 1 hour start to finish and because of the speed I lost 2 litres of blood and had a blood transfusion. Apparently this can happen - fast births, with more than 2 PG's and age. I was 35, nearly 36 and obviously on my 3rd.

So, if I was to have another id be looking at being 38, if im to cope at all. Mad? Be honest!

Anyone out there with madder stories and living in a shoe!

Im not sure why I want a forth. I think I want a sister for my DD so that if anything ever happened to me she'd have a sister! My friends all seem to have sisters and they are a huge part of their lives and support for them.

If that is your only reason then don't do it.

I am one of 4 and I'm closest to one of my brothers than my sister.

Does your dp/dh want a fourth child?

Unless you have specifically been told by an obstetrician not to have any more children there probably isn't a medical reason not to.You would be a "high risk" pregnancy due to your history and a close eye would be kept on you when pregnant with a 4th.Age-wise you are fine,may take a while or you may be lucky.Just had my 3rd at 39.If you feel your family is incomplete,why not?

Thanks. yama, good to hear you are closer to a brother.

My experience of boys is they seem to move out and move on. I think this might be niggling me.

My husband, brother, dad and friends brothers, husbands all seem to do the same. Marry and forget family they had. I have to nag my DH to visit his mother and my mum had to do the same with my dad. Never see my brother who is at the other end of the country and they don't seem to have phones in Exeter. I worry im going to place too much worry on my one DD to stick around!

What will you so if no 4 is also a boy? You can't guarantee your dd a sister.

all children should move out and move on, and not all families stay close.

to bring another child into this world just for this reason isn't right. Help your daughter to make friends, and resolve not to let history repeat itself by not replicating the mistakes on both sides.

Quickchat - all families are different. My DH is one of 3 brothers and they are all very close. Your DH's relationship with his family won't dictate how your kids/family unit turn out.

I have four children. I wouldn't swap them. Four children is, however, utter madness in terms if cooking, washing, mess, noise and general crowd control. Time to myself (or ourselves) is a thing of the past. Don't say you weren't warned!