Tips for dealing with toddler and newborn

[Whereisthesnow]

Hello, ds1 is 3 years, ds2 3 days. Any top tips for dealing with behaviour of ds1? He is a bit wilful at the mo anyway but seems more so now. I am loathe to be very strict with him as its such a big change in his life

Congratulations!
I am sure you have already told DS2 in DS1's earshot how clever and good his big brother is. Accentuate the positive - praise and reinforce good behaviour. When you are feeding or changing DS2, try and involve DS1 fetching and carrying or just let him relax and cuddle up, a simple game or singing, nursery rhymes. Perhaps watching CBeebies or a favourite DVD or a picture book to share.

I felt like Mummy Police staying on alert with DC1 around his tiny sister - he seemed so big! Normal expectations of reasonable behaviour otherwise pfb will start to take advantage. Had to forget creeping about while baby slumbered like we did with pfb - DC2 had to accept normal life and a 3 year old carried on!

Encourage him to be gentle with his little brother. Read recently here good advice to repeat "Gentle hands" because while babies aren't made of glass they do need toddler and infant siblings to exercise caution.

I know you need to rest when you can but if you can summon the energy to entertain DS1 when DS2 naps, try and spend 1-on-1 time with him. Even 10-20 minutes before chores or grabbing sleep is time well spent. He's going to want reassurance you haven't transferred affection and attention to the newcomer.
With that in mind a sling really helped me - closeness to DC2 while I played with DC1.

Thank you, it all makes sense (through the sleep deprived hormonal post natal fug!)