How to make no mean no

[pablopatito]

DS is now one. Any tips, please, on how to make my stern, deep-voiced "No, Jacob, stop doing that" mean "No, Jacob, stop doing that" and not, for example, "Hey Jacob, banging a wooden toy against the TV screen is a really good game, why don't you now carry on doing it whilst giggling hysterically to yourself"?

Take the wooden toy away when you have said no. They eventually learn that if "No" is not heeded, they lose out.

Then when they are three, they argue with every single word you say

Crouch down to their eye level, get them to look at you, say "NO" and take it away.

At that age, I'd say "no, don't do that" once, then say "No, you must not do that, if you do it again, I will take away xxx" & then if it happens again take it away.
Definitely pick your battles though, otherwise you just end up saying "no" all day. Try distraction if at all possible & save "no" for major offences like the one you describe!!
Good luck!

But taking the toy away seems to translate as "Hey Jacob, what a great game! Keep on banging the toy and I will come over and take the toy away - you then have to find another toy (preferably a bigger one) and start banging that. I'll then take that away, I may even pick you up and move you to another part of the room! What a fun game you've invented!"

Then you devise a punishment - sitting on the step or something similar so he knows it's not a game.

But is he old enough to understand punishments at 12 months? He would only stay on a step if I physically pinned him down - he doesn't stay still for more than a second at a time.

Move him and the object away from the TV. If he goes back, take the object off him, saying No. If he finds something else whip him into another room and tickle him to death hopefully making him forget about the bashing tv thing.

Oh right, he's only one? Sorry! Honestly, the best way to go is to get down at their eye level and say a very firm "NO". Don't say anything else, no persuading or trying to reason or offering an alternative. Toddlers can read body language very well and he'll know that you mean business.

If he carries on, then take him away from his toys for a bit.

lol Pablopatito, I share your frustration.. at 14 months it is starting to get easier!

Thanks for the link. I guess there isn't really an easy answer at this age. Its just that a friend of mine whose baby is the same age normally makes her baby cry when she says 'No' whereas I normally make my baby laugh when I say 'No'. Yet we're bothing saying it in the same way.

Another example: we have a large tiled fireplace which we don't want him on as its dangerous. Normally, as with most dangerous places, the only way to stop him from climbing on it is to pick him up. He likes being picked up. If he goes to dangerous places he gets picked up. Therefore, he associates dangerous places with being picked up. Therefore, he thinks dangerous places are good and should be sought out at all times. Hmmn.