Is it normal for baby to only want mum when unwell? What should we do?

[MillionPramMiles]

In the last week our ten month old dd has been quite clingy to me and reluctant to go to dp. This is completely new, she's always been very happy with dp and he is great with her, she gets very excited when he comes home from work etc. Shes teething and has been unwell since Friday so it seems to be linked to that.

I'm worried because I don't want dd to think that she's only safe if I'm around. I really want her to be equally happy, secure etc with her dad. Dp is hurt though is trying not to show it. I'm also finding it exhausting as her sleep is disturbed but she wont go to dp at night so I feel like I'm trying to keep going 24/7.

Should i try to encourage dd to go to dp and leave them alone for a little bit? maybe she would be better if i was out of sight? Or do I just hope dd just goes back to normal soon? I feel a bit clueless....

IME it's not unusual. Both my DC have been particularly clingy to me when ill. I think some of it was due to breastfeeding, as that was what they wanted to do when unwell and especially if teething.

I wouldn't worry about it tbh. Just try to go with it and I'm sure she'll go back to her old self once she's feeling 100% again.

She'll grow out of it, eventually.

DS has been Daddy-crazy for about 5 months now (he's 15mo, so from the same age as your DD) nad he's just now getting out of it. DS would go to DH if: he fell over and got a booboo, if he was hungry, first thing in the morning, if DH was sitting down... DS follows DH around like a shadow nd cries when he leaves the room, he won't let me take him from DH's arms. All heart-breaking stuff, I feel like a bit of a failure and have sobbed into my coffee a couple of times, especially when I see DH is absolutely knackered and wants to have some time out but has a small person crying and clinging to his leg. I want to grab some pompoms and shout, "Mummy's here, I love you, too, come and have a lovely hug with me!"

It has recently started to get better. We're still co-sleeping and DS snuffles up to me in the night and wakes me up with kisses first (or a slap in the face with a slipper!). He's ill at the moment and is happy having cuddles with either of us.

I posted the same problem on MN a few months ago and someone said that because DD is so sure of your DH's love, she is now testing yours. As the good old mantra goes: this too shall pass.

I hope your LO feels better soon and your DH finds some comfort in the fact that it's all natural and routine

This is completely normal - seperation anxiety starts to kick in anytime around now and can last for quite a while, although possibly not continuously.

DS' kicked in at 1 year and was definitely a lot worse when he was ill. It was exhausting so I feel your pain. Sometimes I simply had to leave him with DH to get the break but when he was ill he wanted me. similarly, DH is a SAHD but DS would only settle for me at 2 in the morning.

seperation anxiety

Very very normal I'm afraid at this age. She will grow out of it though, your dp needs to not be offended though. It's not a rejection, she's just feeling unwell so doesn't want to do the fun exciting things she associates with dp.

Thx tailtwister. Dd isn't breast feeding anymore and has never been clingy so it feels a bit strange. Funny how she only ever says 'mama' when she's upset. Otherwise it's dada all day long!

Thx all. Am wondering if it has something to do with dd starting nursery a few weeks ago too. She was doing well there till she became ill. I feel guilty cause I really want to be able to just hand her over for 10 mins now and then.

Get a sling like a connecta, manduca or beco. Pop her on your back and got on with ten minutes of having her close but not having to carry her .

I feel your pain. We had several bouts of separation anxiety and only one was where she wanted DH over me. We co slept and I BFed to past her second birthday and there were times I was on my knees.