What is your approach to picky eaters?

[ruthyroo]

Ds1 is pretty fussy about food. Like many children he ate or st least tried pretty much anything put in front of him. Since then the range of foods he will eat has got narrower and narrower. He will eat pasta with tomato sauce or pesto, most meats, most fruits,bread, porridge, cheese and sweetened yoghurt, and variations on this limited theme. No veggies except brocolli and ehatever comes in pasta / bolognese sauce. I never intended to cook separate meals but that is what has happened! When he is presented with something new he protests loudly and refuses to eat it but will isually try it with some persuasion. Then he'll reject it strongly!

I'm interested to know how other parents deal with fussy eaters. We don't have many rules around food, we don't do pudding ( though they do have porridge for supper later on and I know he looks to fill up on that if he doesn't eat much dinner). We don't insist on clear plates, I'd rather let them decide for themselves. Ds1 is really not interested in food - despite helping me cook - it's fuel for him. I always give him foods to try but mostly he refuses.

What is your approach? What are your family eating rules? Ps ds1 is 5 now.

One meal for everyone.

No cajoling, persuading or otherwise commenting on not eating.

Clear plates away after a reasonable amount of time (unless DC is actually eating, albeit slowly)

Small supper if needed - piece of toast, fruit or milk.

My approach is easy, with our routine they eat before DS and I in the evening (I'm a childminder and feed all the kids at 5:15, DS and I eat after the kids are in bed). I make them things that they like, as long as it's a well balanced meal. I always take into account what they have over the entire day, not just one meal. I often have a small choice of meals for the kids (for example, pasta with pesto or with veg sauce, veggy sausages or meat sausages, etc). I always make a salad with cucumber, tomato, peppers or other veg to eat with their meal.

In my experience, which is limited, I want mealtimes to be relaxed and fun. I often make plates of mixed fruit already cut in nice pieces to eat after a meal, and once it's finished I give them a little ice cream or a cake. I also find that eating with many different children will encourage them to eat different things. And as they get older they settle and start eating different things, and try new things. I don't offer an alternative meal, but I do offer lots of fruit/veg so they have a choice. I don't know if it helps.

More or less like Flisspaps in our house.

But, I do a little bit of cajoling!
Dinner is small so they often ask for more.

Ds1 is 7 now and from the age of 5 ish, I've got him to try lots of new foods. If he really,really doesn't want to, he can say no. But-

If it's on his plate I ask him to decide by trying a tiny bit once. Otherwise, it's rude. (not being rude has seemed to work with ds1, ds2 doesn't care!)

Have told him I've cooked things differently so he may want to try them again and see if he still 'hates' it. It's worked with lots of new foods.

See, I found with DD that ignoring her meant she got on and ate her tea. Any kind of cajoling meant she'd refuse to eat for even longer.

DD2 (3) is very very fussy, and has been since I introduced solids at 6 mo. She was also FTT, so I made the decision quite early on that it was more important to get enough calories into her for her to grow, and not focus on her having a conventional healthy diet.

Her fussyness was so bad that we were referred to the feeding clinic at the local childrens hospital when she was about 18mo.

Her growth started to pick up when she was 2, and she no longer looks small compared to her peers. So we have started to be a bit stricter, but we've had to be very patient with her.

We eat as a family every night, and the food is placed on the table for everyone to help themselves to. If I have cooked something (eg rice, pasta) that I know she wont eat I prepare something separately for her, but encourage her to have just a tiny taste of what we are having.

Most of the time I can construct meals that take into account her preferences, so we're all eating more or less the same thing. It's meant that my repertoire as become a bit smaller, which is frustrating as I love to cook.

In the last year she has added a lot of new foods to those she will accept, so I'm confident that this tactic is working for us, and that by the time she's older she'll be eating relatively normally.

I want her to enjoy eating, and I want our mealtimes to be a happy experience.

(BTW DD1 is the complete opposite, has an excellent, varied diet and enjoys trying new things. I was always of the belief that you shouldn't pander to fussyness until I was faced with the challenge of DD2's fear of food).

Dd is 2, so limited experience however I will copy my parents; 1meal only. Veg at every meal. It's ok to have boiled spud if u hate mash or jacket if hate roast but otherwise there's bread and jam. No messing about.

I was also forced to cook for family which built my appreciation of food. Dd will do the same.

Unless of course some chronic issue occurs, if its just normal fussy well she will get over it, we all do.

My tips. Is is what I did with ds1 who used to be really restricted in what he ate but now loves trying new things and eats almost everything. Because he has so few dislikes now I respect them because they are genuine.

1. don't put a whole meal infront of him that you know he won't eat. Alittle bit of something new or disliked is fine but not a whole meal.

2. no alternative. If he doesn't have a good go at what is on his plate no food until the next meal. As much water as he likes though.

3. he has to eat the little bit of something new/ disliked on his plate(and I do mean a little bit) You are not asking him to like it you are telling him to eat it. He doesn't get down until this has happened. He can wash it down with as much drink as he likes.

4). Much praise for trying something new.

5. take him shopping with you and discuss the food with him. Ask his opinion on food. Should we have the x or the y? Would you like to try z?

6)if it is something new/disliked get him to cook it with you so he see what goes in.

7). Never ever loose your temper.

8. repeat it takes a long long (years) time to sort.

Good luck!

Exactly the same as Flisspaps

I told my niece that she must try everything 7 times or her tummy can't tell her brain if she likes it or not, she was also 5 more often than not after 3 or 4 bites she said she liked whatever it was. After screaming about hating mince and pretending to gag on the first 2 bites she was asking for a secind bowl. I praise her for eating but not in an over the top way just 'your doing very well' and tell DS (13mo) to look at how well she is eating thats why she's so big and strong she really responds to it.

I don't give her things i know she really doesn't like, if she doesn't eat something she likes she doesn't get pudding usually a yogurt or fruit and if she's hungry later toast with butter.