Talking to your children

[london]

My DD is 6, and I worry - far too much probably - about her social behaviour and friendships. She has friends at school - altho' not an obvious 'best friend', but is part of several friendship groups. With her closest friends, she is often to my mind rather overbearing. She is quick to pick up any discrepancies in things others say and often does things for her friends or tells them what to do (not in nasty way). She is not spiteful or deliberately unkind, and of course I only see that behaviour that takes place in our house (where she knows how all the games work etc.). I wonder whether I should talk about this to her.? I think our anxieties as parents around friendships might relate back to our own experiences as children and she is not me! But on the other hand, I want to help her develop her social skills. I have tried talking to her but find being more subtle than overt criticism trickier in practice than it might seem in theory! I don't want to criticise her all the time. Any ideas?

i've just finished reading "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" - it's all about communication skills with children. I was a bit sceptical at first (it looks very american), but I thought it was brilliant. My children are 12 and 10, so they're a lot older than your dd, but the advice in this book applies to children of any age. Worth a look?

I'd really recommend Spacemonkey's suggestion too. It's not an instant solutions book, but it really is good. And it works.

DD play back a lot of social situations as a role play game afterwards, often swapping roles. This is a fun way to see how situations can be played differently, and how another person might feel!

Thanks for the recommendation spacemonkey & marina. I have seen the book but like you thought it a bit American, but will try. I'm not sure she's a role play child or me a role play mum but thanks for the suggestion scoobysnax!