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Parenting

Is "one of each" the ideal?

34 replies

PumpkinAndHoneyBunny · 16/03/2013 13:27

I have a DD and expecting Dc2. We don't know the sex but everyone we talk to says how we might be lucky and have one of each. Why is one of each the holy grail? I would be thrilled if we have two girls. Plus I think siblings of the same sex would be nice (not that i think opposite sex siblings wouldn't get on). I would equally be thrilled if we had a boy - something different, a father/son relationship for DH etc. Either way is nice I think.

I don't know what to say to people when I say we don't mind either way and they look at me like they don't believe me.

OP posts:
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Queenie72 · 16/03/2013 17:13

I have 2 gorgeous sons, I got all the c

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Queenie72 · 16/03/2013 17:18

Sorry posted too soon, stupid iPhone !!!
I have 2 gorgeous sons, I got all the bet you want a girl and comments when he was 10 days late like ' it better be a girl after this wait' it is silly, and when you are pregnant people make these comments because they haven't met dc2 yet !! My ds2 is so adorable if anyone made a comment now I'd bop them!!! I love the fact I have 'my boys' makes clothes , toys etc easier and I love that (hopefully) they will be little buddies for life. The gender is not what makes a family 'ideal' it is health , happiness and love.

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Doitnicelyplease · 16/03/2013 17:56

It is just an outdated way of thinking. Probably from the 40s/50s when gender roles were much more sharply defined than they are now.

Back then I presume some people thought it nice that the mummy got a polite girly-girl to dress-up and the dad got his rough and tumble boy to watch sports with. Also if you had a girl and a boy it was like a full set - one of each.

Most people nowadays realise this is all a load of old tosh, but probably just looking for something to say. I usually find it is the over 50s crowd that come out with comments like this.

I have 2 DDs and love it, just as 2 DSs would have been fab or one of each.

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lola88 · 16/03/2013 19:52

I would like another boy just because i think it might be easier practically hand me downs sharing a room etc, so my ideal is 2 boys but i would be happy with a girl I have a niece i am very close to who is 5 years older than DS who is my first i might feel differently if i didn't have her to do the 'girl' thing with.

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Letticetheslug · 16/03/2013 20:01

I have one of each, love them both, but love them because they are my children, I couldn't understand the congratulations because i now had a 'pigeon pair'.

I am one of 2 sisters, seemed better to me to be able to re-use all the clothes ( girl first)!

I just ignored other people , they all think they know more about you than you do

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MatalanMadness · 16/03/2013 20:17

My favourite comment so far, after having DD2 was "it must be lovely for you to have two little girls, but I feel so sorry for your husband not having a son. You'll have to try again and try to have a boy so your husband can be happy"

I was totally shocked! My DH dotes on his girls, he is happy playing football with them and equally happy learning all the My Little Pony names and cutie marks! If he has some deep seated resentment about me not providing him with a son then he is keeping it well hidden Grin

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debbie1412 · 16/03/2013 20:50

I honestly wouldn't care and I do have one of each. Healthy and happy is all what matters to me !

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JerryLeadbetter · 16/03/2013 20:51

We have 'one of each' - DS is 2.1 and DD is 10 months. Whilst it's 'ideal' for us, and I feel very lucky as we always wanted the chance to parent a boy AND a girl, it doesn't mean it's ideal for everyone. Nor does it mean it's ideal for the DCs.

DS adores his baby sister, and because of the small age gap I really do hope they grow up close, but a lot will be to do with personality etc. I often wonder if they will wish when they are older that they had a brother/sister to hang out with instead. I quite envy friends who have 2/3 boys or 2/3 girls, it always seems like they're in to all the same things and having a blast!

I actually like the fact though that we have/will have a wide spectrum of toys available to each DC, both traditionally boys AND girls toys, although as someone pointed out above it does make it quite expensive, ditto clothes (although DD does have a few of DS' hand-me-downs!).

I often get stopped by people (particularly old people!) when the DCs are in the double buggy and they coo and say things like "how LOVELY, a boy and a girl, you did well there!", to which I am always a bit bemused, as I just think "so would DD not be so lovely if she were a boy?" Confused

In MY ideal world though, i'd have 4 DCs- 2 boys then 2 girls so have best of all worlds. Never gonna happen though! Grin

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scarlettsmummy2 · 16/03/2013 20:57

I have two little girls and I love it. I love dressing them the same and hope they will be best of pals. Yes, it would be lovely to have a son, but I wouldn't swop my girls for the world. My husband was a little disappointed when we found out we were having a second girl, but quickly got over it and is adamant he doesn't want to have anymore babies!

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