tips on coping with newborn and 4 yr old

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

hi, sure this thread has been done before but can't find one so posting my own

I'm due in about 6 weeks and DD is looking forward to being a big sister, but I'm not sure how the reality will pan out. She'll be at nursery 3 days a week.

I'm planning to bf again so planning to read to DD while I bf the baby (if he's anything like DD we'll be there a while!). Hopefully she'll be helpful with changing nappies, fetching things, generally getting involved.

Any other ideas?

I'm impressed with the intention to read to dd while feeding - I coped by employing an excess of cbeebies and disney dvds. Ds doesn't seem any worse the wear for the extra screen time and his eyes haven't turned square, and that was really a short term solution while I was knackered and didn't have the energy to manage a better way. He will also play on the floor with cars and toys and I have to "make them talk" while I feed dd, which passes some time. He is also 4. He has loved helping to change nappies ("haha she's got her bottom out again!") and help with baby baths. Dh works long hours and often isn't home for bedtime, so I make sure ds's bedtime is protected - in other words, dd is put in her bouncy chair and if she crys I let her for a short time - so that he feels important and prioritised for that little bit of time before bed. We do bedtime story together then teeth, toilet, PJs and to bed. He loves being a big brother, it's a good age gap.

hi thanks mummy, maybe feeding and reading is ambitious! We already have an excess of cbeebies and netflix on the iPad, have done for the past year (lots of illness chez tas) I don't have the energy to feel guilty. Nice idea to prioritise some special time for the older child, will make sure I do that.

Will be watching the replies with interest: am due in May & will most likely be having another c-section. Think it's going to be Dvd's all the way.DS is in nursery 5 afternoons & I'm worried about getting there & back doing the "Caesarian shuffle" 4 times daily. I've purchased a wrist strap in case he runs away while we walk, but am hoping to use it as a threat rather than in reality.

Ds was 3y9m when I had dd. I cannot explain how much easier it was to deal with ds and dd than deal with ds when pregnant.

Ds probably did watch a fair bit telly but he was also fascinated with dd, we went on lots of walks, baths, trips round the shops, soft play, museums etc. it's actually a lot easier than when you have a 4/5. Year old and a toddling 1 year old!

I did bath times by dunking dd in bath then ds getting in whilst I dried and dressed dd in the bathroom then put her in bouncy chair whilst I sorted him out. Usually fed dd whilst I got ds to sleep (wouldn't sleep without me there).

Am very envious it was a lovely time - they are 6 and almost 2 1/2 now and are lovely but hard work

Lotsofcheese - ask other mums for help if you can? People are almost always willing to help someone with a newborn ime.

The other thing I did was go on ebay and purchase 2/3 inexpensive toys which I kept for bad days to keep ds entertained eg a helicopter with little people in was one and a road mat and cars was another.

Make sure the baby brings a present for DD- DD2 brought a watch for DD1, who was astounded that it came out of my tummy

Dd1 (3.9 when DD2 arrived) wanted to regress a bit when DD2 was born- lots of lying in the changing mat and drinking from bottles, but I was happy to go with this for a while and it really helped her to feel more secure.

My dd was younger (2.9) when ds was born- he's 20 weeks now. It's fine! I do read to her when feeding (I make sure she's sitting on the 'head side' otherwise she gets annoyed about ds 'kicking' her). Duplo is also a lifesaver as are other small world toys eg her toy farm. I have also built up a stash of collage materials (just bits of cut up tissue, pictures cut from wrapping paper, feathers etc) and some pva glue. That keeps her amused for ages.

Make the most of the first few weeks when new baby sleeps all the time and you aren't really up and about. We did loads of nice things at home together during this time.

A top tip I got from mumsnet is to say to the baby, when h/she starts to squeak for a feed: 'just a moment [baby], I'm just reading to/playing with [older child], I'll be with you in a minute'. That way the older one doesn't feel it's always them having to wait.

Good luck, you'll be fine!

We've got the "present from baby" sorted! And a bath support that I can put the baby in so I can bath them together.

Am hoping to persuade DP to take 2 week paternity leave. He's only just started a new job so it's a little awkward. My folks are a good support but live over an hour away. My outlaws are more work than help, unfortunately.

Am hoping the weather is better this year & he can just run amok in the garden.