Daughters dad spending times with us, am i going to mess her head up?

[MillyStar]

Hello!

My dd is nearly 11 months old and me and her dad split up when she was 3 months old.

We were living together at my parents house with her and he moved out straight away. There is no chance at all that we will get back together.

His parents look after my dd for me on a friday when i am at work, he lives with them at the moment so was spending a friday with her as he's had no work for a couple of months, this was good and bad as i've struggled with no maintenance for a while but it meant he got his time with her and it didn't put me out etc he's also been spending time one day with us at our house whilst he's not been working

He's started a new job on monday (he's a builder) and he came straight to our house last night as he's missed her and wont see her today, he had a shower as he was filthy and i made him his tea as he was starving!

Anyway he asked me what we were doing this weekend and expressed an interest at coming with us if we go to the shops or a market on Sunday etc as he often comes with us

Do you think this could be damaging to dd and i need to stop it now? I know she will be getting a lot more aware of stuff as she gets older and i suppose it's a bit like we're a family when he comes out with us but like i said we would never get back together (i'd rather stick pins in my eyes)!

Do i need to make it more formal?

Sorry i put the bit about his tea and shower in as its a bit comfortable if you see what i mean!

No. You can be a family without the 2 of you being a couple. Might be worth discussing what happens when either meets someone new but if you can make this work, do it - lucky dd.

No. Your dd will grow up learning that people can be civilised and caring and cooperative and she will feel very much loved by both parents.

No, I think her parents being able to spend time together and communicate well will be an advantage to her. My only worry is whether it's okay on both of you adults emotionally, whether you've had enough space to move on. As long as that's okay, then I think go for it.

I think as long at it stays the way it is and you are both ok with it then it can only be positive for your daughter to spend time with both of her parents together.

My only concern would be if your relationship with your ex were to change in future, maybe if either one if you start a relationship with someone else, that the time you all spend together would suffer.