My children make me unhappy

[MakeTeaNotWar]

DS is 5.5 months and hasn't slept more than 2 hours since he was born. DD is 2.5 and has become increasingly naughty and resistant to sleep, crying out in the night, tantrums, screaming etc.

DH is away for 2 weeks. I've been up since 2am cycling between each crying wakeful child and am exhausted. DD had yet another massive tantrum this morning and refused to eat. I wouldn't admit this in RL but I am falling out of love with her, I need to reconnect as these days, she is filling me with rage. DS makes me resentful as i get no sleep despite trying to cosleep etc. ,I spoke to the doc who just suggested I drink some herbal teas and listen to uplifting music to relax but I am not coping at all and want to run away. My family are In another country and are useless when they visit, I feel judged for being such a shitty parent. DH is fantastic practically with the kids but emotional support is patchy, he is sometimes sympathetic, other times he has told me to "man up".

Apologies for the self pity party, need to offload

PS we all fall out of love with our children when they are toddlers. It's normal. Don't worry about that. Once she is a little easier and more reasonable, you will have those times again where you wipe a tear from your eye at how sweet/brilliant she is. She won't be like this forever.

And remember too she is not being this difficult because you have done something wrong and turned her into a monster. She is doing it because it is developmentally normal, and because that is what toddlers do. It can really help to remember this!

chin up love. x

Oh pet, it is really hard. You're not a wimp! And as for needing to man up... kick his arse from me

You've had lots of good advice already but one thing that has made a massive, massive difference to my ability to cope is learning to ask for help. I used to struggle on miserably for ages and then silently seethe when people said "you should have called me!" but eventually it got to the point where I was beginning to feel unsafe (physical as well as mental ishoos!) and I did start calling people and saying "I'm really stuck, could you possibly help out by taking one of them for a walk / watching tv with them for an hour so I can grab a nap / help me at bedtime." People ARE often willing and able to help (I had helped out other people in the past, I dot know why it took me do long to realise that!) and it can make a huge, huge difference.

Also definitely agree with going into "emergency mode" !!! It's far better for your kids to have a period of too much telly / toast / pj and wellies to the park than try and keep everything up to your usual standards and then break down under the pressure.

Is everyone fed? Is nobody dead? Then you are doing a GREAT JOB! Fuck the housework, educational crafts etc. if all else fails strap them into a double buggy and push them round for an hour listening to your iPod. Do what you have to do to get through the day.

It does get better!!!