13mo, hates cot, crying a lot, please help.

[Fivemoreminutesmummy]

DS2 is 13 months and just seems so unhappy at times and I feel we're really struggling at the minute.

He's good at going to bed at night and sleeps until 5.30ish when he wants to get up for the day.

Naps are terrible/ non existent. He cries and cries when he sees the cot and even staying in the room doesn't help. He stands straight up, even when I know he's exhausted and screams his head off. I tried to break the cycle by putting him in a buggy and he slept well for about a week until he started to associate that with going to sleep and started crying even when placed in that.

I decided to try putting him in the cot again today. He's cried for 45 minutes- no difference if I'm next to him or not. Eventually he's gone to sleep but I know he'll only have 30 mins, wake up tired and we'll have to go through the whole thing again this afternoon.

What am I doing wrong? I hate hearing him cry, it's so distressing for both of us. I can't drive round for 2 hours to get him to sleep though as I have DS1 who is 3.

His eating and clinginess are also problems but I feel if he wasn't so tired all the time, we could tackle those things.
Any advice much appreciated.

You're not doing anything wrong - he is just going through another of those lovely phases they go through - he's probably cottoned on to the fact that sleeping means being separate from you and/or teething which makes him more wakeful. If he's not walking yet, the struggle of trying to get going often sends everything t*ts up too.

It's really hard. My DS is in a funny phase too at the mo (he's a bit older - nearly 17 mths - teething his canines and I think just about to get going with talking).

I find if my son resists going down in his cot, the pick up, put down, shush and pat thing works quite well. Pick up and cuddle for a minute or two, put down and then pat tummy/back while making long gentle shussshhh noises (not a bossy "shh!", more like a long low "whooosssssh" noise). Do that for a min or two then pick up and cuddle again. Then repeat. My son often settles after 5 or 10 mins of that, if he is tired enough to sleep. Eventually he'll get bored of trying to stand up.

You could always try letting him sleep with you while he is in this funny phase.

Good luck. It won't be like this forever (small comfort I know!)

Thanks bumps
He had half an hour and is up now- grumpy as hell but settled now and all smiles.
It makes me feel better to think it's not my fault, I just sometimes feel I must be doing it all wrong.
I'd love him to sleep with me but he still cries and climbs all over me and still doesn't sleep.
Hopefully this will pass soon, thanks again