Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

night 'training' a disaster - utterly at a loss - please help!

19 replies

elliott · 06/05/2006 11:25

OK quick recap - ds1 4.5, has had some dry nights for at least a year while in pullups, tends to go in runs of dry nights then runs of wet nights with no apparent reason. Has had major and v stressful relapse of daily daytime wetting for the past six months which has been on a good phase for the last 4 weeks (too jaded to claim the problem is 'solved', merely taht we are on a good phase). This coincided with a good phase with dry nights most of the time for 3 weeks, so I decided to bite the bullet and get rid of the pullups. ds1 seems happy to try but not overly bothered.
In six nights, he has been wet every night except one when we lifted him. When he wets he just stays sleeping in his wet bed (though I think he is sometimes aware of being wet) - he does not appear upset, and I only discover the wet if I go and feel the bed - which might not be till morning. We have a star chart and promise of treats if he is dry. If I ask about going back to nappies he would prefer not too but isn't really that bothered.
What should I do? I really don't see the merit in plouhging on with him getting more and more in the habit of wetting - what is the incentive for him to stay dry? Is it something he can do anything about anyway? Why can he have long runs dry nights but no dry nights without his pullups?
Should I try lifting to give him some experience of success or will that just create more bad habits? If I go back to pullups, how will I decide when he is 'ready' since he is clearly able to be dry, certianly not 100% of the time but a good percentage of nights.
REally really at a loss here and feel totally frustrated and incompetent. Feel it must somehow be the way I am handling it that is causing the problem. Please please help....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SenoraPostrophe · 06/05/2006 11:28

I would try lifting yes, if you mean waking him at 11 and putting him on the loo.

Original poster

elliott · 06/05/2006 20:05

Maybe we should. But everything I've read recommends against it - won't it just get him in the habit of weeing in his sleep?

OP posts:

dinny · 06/05/2006 20:08

Elliott, just curious as to why it's such a problem to not be dry at night... He's not even five yet.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

elliott · 06/05/2006 21:25

The problem is that I am confused about whether or not he is ready - clearly if he were wet every morning in his pullups it would be obvious there would be no point in trying. But if he is dry quite a lot of the time - and before we started this attempt without pullups, he had been dry for nearly every night of the previous three weeks - is it not time to try? And having started, I need to decide how long to give it a go before I can expect improvement - and also, I am very confused about why he can be dry in pullups but, apparently, not without!
I mean, at some point he has to go without pullups, and if I call a halt to this attempt, I am genuinely at a loss as to what I am waiting for really.

OP posts:

Original poster

elliott · 06/05/2006 21:27

So, the problem is that he apparently IS dry at night quite a lot of the time. Then as soon as we take the plunge, he has a complete relapse....

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 06/05/2006 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

elliott · 06/05/2006 21:37

Yes, they are bone dry when they are dry. And certainly not hiding the amount of wee that he's been doing in the bed!
Its the on-off nature of it that really puzzles me. How on earth am I supposed to tell when he's ready, if not by frequent dry nappies??
Also, apparently loads of mn have gone for nappies off at night BEFORE they have had any dry nappies at all - and I was kind of wondering how long they had to wait before they achieved 'success'. Though from my experience, I can't really imagine having a child who wets a pullup and then magically stays dry when they aren't wearing one - since I am witnessing quite the opposite.

OP posts:

Original poster

elliott · 06/05/2006 21:39

I am highly tempted to leave it to, I mean it is the easy option all round. But I worry that I am just training him to be lazy about it.

OP posts:

Yummymum1 · 08/05/2006 14:16

Dear Elliot,my ds1 was night trained by peer pressure!He had a friend(girl)who came to play and saw ds1s nappies in bedroom.She thought they were ds2s nappies and couldnt understand why ds1 still needed them!From that night on ds1 decided he wasnt going to wear nappies at night and that was that.Do you have anyone who could do similar?

Original poster

elliott · 08/05/2006 15:36

he's not all that sensitive to peer pressure. i don't really have an answer as to why it is so on and off with him - but I am going to try being very relaxed about it and see if that helps.

OP posts:

Northerner · 08/05/2006 15:39

Elliott my ds is 4.1 and has been dry at night for about 3 months, we did this by using the lifting method. At about 10.30/11pm we'd take him to the loo and he would wee. With cutting out bedtime drinks and ensuring he weed before bed, he gradually stopped weeing when we lifted him and he's been dry since.

Matonic · 08/05/2006 15:53

I haven't got any bright ideas for you, Elliott, but it sounds as though our sons are at about the same stage. We spent several months lifting without it making any difference to ds's chances of staying dry throughout the night and now we're back in pull-ups.
My plan B is to relax and do nothing. I don't think this is training them to be lazy, and the peer-pressure thing may well kick in at some stage soon for your ds. Mine is a bit desperate that his classmates at nursery don't discover he has pull-ups at night (and I bet half of them are still in night nappies).

Original poster

elliott · 08/05/2006 15:54

northerner, the nights we have lifted at 11-ish he has stayed dry. So we will carry on with and see how we go. I just feel worried about starting something and not knowing when to stop...

OP posts:

secur · 08/05/2006 15:59

Lifting is advised against, however, lots of people have used it succesfully, if it is working then I would take that as a good thing for the time being and maybe start trying to change the routine a little later on. Maybe by doing it later and later or by doing it once quite early in the evening and once very early in the morning and moving the two further apart until eventually he is going before bed and first thing in the morning. The only problem with this method could be having to set alarm clocks for yourself and whether he will go of to sleep again after the early morning visit!

puddle · 08/05/2006 15:59

Elliott we did lifing with ds - just for a week and then forgot one night and he stayed dry - has been dry since.

We didn't have one dry pull up before we decided to try him without either.

Lots of people find too that it's not a case of limiting drinks before bed, more what they drink (blackcurrant juice is one that makes them more likely to wet the bed for some reason). My two have always had just water with their supper and a glass of milk before bed.

Original poster

elliott · 10/05/2006 19:52

ho hum - we go back to pull ups (after a night when he was soaking before we got as far as lifing) and hey presto, he has a dry night again (no lifting). It defies all logic

OP posts:

Original poster

elliott · 11/05/2006 15:46

And again. Have said we will try again without pullups after three dry nights...

OP posts:

dinosaure · 11/05/2006 15:49

I'd be tempted to leave him. DS1 is six, nearly seven, and has only been dry at night for a couple of months.

Original poster

elliott · 11/05/2006 16:10

yes, but didn't he go from being wet all the time to suddenly being dry (or was that someone else )
I wouldn't be thinking of trying if it weren't for the fact that he is dry quite a lot of the time when in pullups (and has had occasional dry nights for over a year) - just doesn't seem to be able to manage it without the pullups. so it can't be solely a physical thing can it?

OP posts:

Flip