tips on making time for 4 yo DD1 with 1 yo DD2 always around

[KatherineKrupnik]

DD1 is 4.9 & at school full time. DD2 is 18m & at home with me full time.

DD1 is very explicit about wanting more time with me without DD2 "ruining her life" but I find it really hard to make that happen. DD2 is always climbing on me/DD1, snatching what DD1 is playing with etc. The best success I have is with e.g. play dough but I we get bored of that.

It feels even more imperative to find DD1 a slot because DP is shortly going to be very absent from the day-to-day due to shift patterns so she isn't going to get that parent time from him either.

Currently they both go to bed at the same time & I am reluctant to change that as it will mean DD1 goes to bed late (routine will be bath, DD1 listens to story tape while I put DD2 down, I read DD1 a story, lights out & I come down & deal with the carnage...) but maybe that is the only solution.

My DD is 3.9 and DS is 16 months. We do do separate bedtimes i.e they have a bath together, then she goes and reads upstairs while I put DS down. She doesnt really get much other 1 to 1 time with me - when DS is napping I am rushing around trying to do all the stuff I couldn't do with him awake - you know the score ...

I find it is such a precious time with DD, she often talks to me in those 20 mins we have together at the end of the day. DS gets loads of hugs by virtue of his being 16 months old, but if I didn't do separate story with DD she wouldn't get much physical affection. As it stands we read together cuddled up.

She is great with her brother and I am sure it helps that she has this special time with me. It helps me remember too that she is more than just "the big one" and to feel tuned in with her.

She starts school in Sept and I hope I can keep it going. At the moment she doesn't turn her light off till 8pm and so I hope she won't be too tired once she is doing 5 days a week at school.

I'd give it a go if I were you.

PS we have found bedtime slipping later and later recently, and wanted to get things back to DD being asleep by 8. After much thinking we decided to make the bath shorter and more functional and retain separate stories, rather than have a longer bath and stories together. So now they get in, splash for 5 mins, then its DS out followed by DD.

The other thing I do is let DD sit in the passenger seat of the car on her booster a few times a week. It really creates a sense of companionship! Not sure whether road safety experts would recommend it, but DD loves it.

Would love to know too - have 3.10,5 and 17 month old. Feel bad for the older 2 never being able to play Lego/playmobil with me as she wrecks it all. She also snatches any book/ comic we are reading. They love her to bit though!