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Newborn daily life?

31 replies

Fluffeh · 11/03/2013 08:16

Hi it's finally dawned on me that even though I'm less than 6 weeks off meeting my baby I haven't a clue what to expect from a daily life point of view.
I've cared for babies before on behalf of friends/family but I've never had my own that is totally reliant on me.
Is there a typical day? Could anyone try to talk me through one or even a bad day vs a good day?
When I ask friends and family I just get "oh it's hard" or "you'll get used to it.... Eventually".
I like being prepared for things so really don't mind worse case scenario, I'd just love some kind of idea of what I should expect. I'm hoping to breastfeed and have no plans other than adjusting to being a parent for the first few weeks so I'm open to any suggestions :).
Thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
marzipananimal · 11/03/2013 08:22

Well babies vary quite a bit and change very fast so it's very different at 8 weeks to 2 weeks. For me, early days consisted of feeding (looong feeds), trying to sleep, seeing the odd visitor and getting out for some short walks for some fresh air. I also had a bath every day when DH was on paternity leave cos I had stitches that needed soaking. DH did all the cooking and housework for ages, though I managed to keep the laundry ticking over.
Make sure you have plenty of DVDs to watch and books to read, and accept any offers of help you get!

marzipananimal · 11/03/2013 08:28

On a bad day when DH got home I would practically throw the baby at him and run off to lie down in a darkened room. Difficult days were generally due to lack of sleep and DS needing attention all the time so I couldn't switch off/have a break. We also found bfing very hard at first.
A good day, marvelled at how cute he was and how much I loved him, and I maybe managed to get something done other than just survive the day!

Abigail9580 · 11/03/2013 08:31

My advice is try not to do everything. Leave the house work, cooking etc and when people come round and ask if there is anything they can do ask them to put the washing out etc. daily life consists if sitting in a chair trying to get the hang of bf, it he feeds last along time. The trying to cat nap. But it's not as terrible as everyone makes out, newborns are scrummy!

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BikeRunSki · 11/03/2013 08:39

It really is a case of each day as it comes. You will need a little while to recover too! The first 2 or 3 weeks really are about fairly constant feeding (bf or ff), sleeping and squeezing other things in - showers, walk, eating, visitors, shopping- around that. As the baby gets older and you get fitter, you'll do more, and with practise you'll do it more efficiently. At say, 4 months, a typical day for my first baby might be
6am - wake up, milk
8am - more milk, me have a shower, breakfast, get both of us dressed
9am - do a bit of housework, baby asleep
10 am - baby group/activity
11.30 - milk for baby
12 noon - lunch for me
1 pm - walk
2pm-4pm - baby asleep
4pm - milk for baby
5 pm - nappy off time (preferably in garden! )
6 pm - bath time
6.30 pm - baby massage, get ready for bed
7pm - milk, lights out
11pm - milk
3 am - milk

That's without the added complications of weaning , siblings, holidays or work!

Don't worry about it. A routine that suits you and your baby will evolve naturally. Start with "muddle along survival mode" and something will sort itself out. Really. There are books of v prescriptive routines you can get, but these do not suit everyone.

coughingbean · 11/03/2013 08:40

I too cared for lots of babies before I had my own and therefore was quietly confidant I would know what I was doing.

I was floored as soon aa she was born. I dont think I was prepared for the responsibilty coupled with the hormones.

Hormones made me quite irrational and unfortunantly I felt as if I couldnt do right by my beautiful baby.

I am not saying it will be the same for you, every one is different, but just be aware the tiredness and hormones might make your brain a little fuzzy!

She is now 6 months and the most beautifull, well behaved baby I have ever known Grin VERY biases

Cies · 11/03/2013 08:41

A first baby is lovely Smile Smile Smile . lots of snuggly bfs , watching boxsets or reading . Then catn apping when baby sleeps. If you get used to bf lying down then even better . Out for a walkwith the sling. Cook v simple things or reheat what you froze in late pregnancy . And marvel at your scrummy baby.

KatAndKit · 11/03/2013 10:02

Feed. Sleep. Poo. Feed. Sleep. Poo. Repeat round the clock.

Expect to do a LOT of feeding. Expect to spend lots of time snuggled up on the sofa or lying in bed cuddling your sleeping baby (for some reason they prefer to sleep on a person rather than in the lovingly prepared moses basket!). Do not worry about establishing any sort of feeding/sleeping routine with a brand new baby. They don't know day from night in the first six weeks anyway. Sleep whenever you can. Let daddy cuddle the sleeping baby between feeds while you get some shut eye in bed. Eat microwave meals or better still stash up your freezer now while you are waiting. Stuff that you can eat with one hand is good as babies always seem to want to feed as soon as you have a plate in front of you. Try to get out for at least a short walk in the fresh air everyday as soon as you feel up to it. After a few weeks try to get to baby groups so you get some adult company and a supportive listening ear.

MillyStar · 11/03/2013 10:29

My dd is ten months old and those first days feel like a blur!

The one thing i would say to you is sleep when the baby does, sod the washing, sod the cleaning, you can do the urgent stuff when oh gets in from work and can hold baby for half an hour!

You literally have to live like a baby

Hawkmoth · 11/03/2013 10:37

Watching foreign sports on telly in the middle of the night and sleeping most of the day... I was a LP with my first so took "sleep when baby sleeps" very much to heart. Try to remember to eat though, it can all become a blur!

RooneyMara · 11/03/2013 10:45

Oh it is lovely Smile You'll like it.

You feel like nothing can go wrong, nothing can touch you in the first few days, because this new one has arrived and the world is totally blessed.

I remember spending most of the time holding him (my first) and subsequent ones too actually. ds3 is 9 weeks. It's just the same with the addition of school run and other kids and so on.

Basically you won't be able to put them down for a while unless someone's there to hold them - or they sleep a lot, which mine haven't!

You'll be tired and a bit fragile at first, your body will feel a bit like it's not yours any more - you'll be milky and sticky and your hair will be a mess and you won't have much chance to wash or eat etc. Everything has to be done essentially with one hand.

A sling is a really good iddea but I found it tricky getting a young one into a sling so they could breathe properly as they get very slumped and squashed.

Enjoy - it is wonderful. Hard but wonderful.

Pozzled · 11/03/2013 10:53

If you plan to bf, expect to be doing it more or less constantly for the first few days. For me it was sleep (while DH took the baby for a bit), wake to feed and grab some food at the same time, maybe spend a bit of time chatting with DH or visitors, then back to sleep. It was more exhausting than I could have imagined.

After the first week or so it did get easier, and while DH was on paternity leave there were lots of moments when the baby was asleep or lying happily on a play mat, and we gazed adoringly at her in wonder had a chance to sit down or get a bit of housework done.

Good day- wake, breakfast and feed, get out to a baby group or similar, back home for lunch, lie down for a bit in the afternoon while baby sleeps, able to sort dinner and do a quick tidy up. Baby smiles lots and melts your heart.

Bad day- baby screams constantly and wants to feed ALL the time, barely enough time to grab yourself some food, house is a tip and you're exhausted. You wonder why you ever decided to have kids.

You will experience both!

ZuleikaD · 11/03/2013 10:54

Expect to spend some whole days pinned to the sofa feeding. Get a Lovefilm subscription and catch up on every film you've ever heard of!

Bumpsadaisie · 11/03/2013 11:07

For the first few weeks it's really just:

Baby wakes up, cuddle baby, feed. The feeding bit might take anywhere between 10 mins and 45 mins (or longer) - some babies are marathon feeders, though both mine were sprinters in the feeding department and wolfed it down in 10 mins flat!) In the first few weeks you are getting BFing established. You can't offer the boob too often! Each feed helps to stimulate your supply and get it all going. If baby is crying and you can't do anything with him/her, feed. As often as you like! If you keep feeding and baby is still crying and you can't get them to settle, then it may be wind (see below) or baby may be overtired and need to get to sleep but can't (in which case try helping him/her to sleep by rocking or driving somewhere in the car). Or they may be upset as they have a dirty nappy (though I have to say mine were ragamuffins who wouldn't have minded being dirty all day long).

After a feed cuddle upright and rub back to burp and wind etc.

Baby might be awake for a bit after that. Change nappy if poo-ey. Baby will probably start feeling sleepy again after a relatively short time (certainly within 2 hours of waking up), so you feed again. After a feed s/he will be sleepy.

S/he might be a baby who is quite happy to be laid down in his/her basket to sleep, if so you would put him/her down. If you get one that doesn't like being put down (and a lot don't when they are tiny), you would cuddle and rock till asleep then put down gently, or perhaps s/he might sleep in the pram with you rocking it back and forward till baby's nodded off. Or if you get one that wakes up as soon as you try to put her down, like my DD, you could pop her in a sling and carry her on your chest while she sleeps and you do whatever you want to do.

While baby is asleep get yourself fed and watered and showered, arrange things on the sofa (water, biscuits, iPad, TV remote)

Then the whole thing repeats itself each time baby wakes. Baby is likely to wake more and be harder to settle in the evenings say from 5 to 10pm. Given the evenings are getting lighter and warmer, you might find yourself doing an evening walk to settle baby during this fussy time, with baby in sling or pram.

By about 10 weeks or so, you might start doing a bedtime routine - bath, feed, and into bed - and after that all feeds in the night upstairs and in the dark/quiet. When they are really new there is not much point doing this as they are quite fussy from 5pm to 10 and the easiest thing is just to keep them near you. But you'll probably notice there comes a point where instead of settling better, they start to need less stimulation and peace and quiet - that might be the time to start bath and bedtime. In the first month or two we only bathed ours perhaps twice a week. I don't think my second, DS, had any all over wash at all after birth till he was about a week old. He wasn't at all gungey - in fact he was fragrant, ha ha! Once they were getting on for 3 months though they had a bath every night as part of bedtime.

After a week or two you will probably want to start going out for a change of scene. You'll get a sense of the best time to do this - usually you would feed and change the baby and then set off - they will sleep in pram or car.

As the baby gets older, the sleeping time gets less, and the awake time between feeds greater. Then they might enjoy things like baby gyms etc. But in the first 8 - 10 weeks they really just want to be close to you, feed and sleep and look about them a bit.

Babies have growth spurts where they feed more and for longer, and do not sleep for as long. They can be hard work, but don't worry that "everything has gone wrong" - it hasn't. Its a growth spurt, they are feeding more to up the supply of breast milk. Just go with it and be led by what baby wants. Things will settle down again in due course (hopefully sooner rather than later ....)

The best advice anyone ever gave me was to treat the first three months as a "fourth trimester". They are tiny, curled up still and they just want snuggles. From three months onwards they are more outward looking, and much more alert. By six months they are sitting up and covering themselves with carrot puree! By 9 months they are crawling or nearly crawling, and by 12 months walking or getting close to it and rifling through your cupboards. And by 18 months your little one is a child, not a baby - a full little personality with likes and dislikes and preferences, who can make you laugh (and cry!) and has a strong will! By 2 they are starting to talk to you. Then the fun really starts ... And before you know it they are 4 and off to school, and their horizons expand outwards from the nucleus of the family and into the big wide world. Sob (my eldest starts in September!) Blush

Good luck OP, you're about to embark on the biggest and best thing you'll ever do. It's a miracle, really it is. Note to self, you do NOT want another child. You can only just about manage the two you have got !! Grin

HarderToKidnap · 11/03/2013 11:07

It was lovely. Our day went like this...

06.30, husband out of bed, took baby so I could sleep stretched out! (we co slept for a few months)
08.30 baby back to me, feed/nap/snuggles together until about 10ish. DH bought me tea in a thermos mug at 08.30 so I would have a hot cuppa about 10 when we woke up properly.
10ish, me into shower, baby watching me in bouncy chair. Then I would dry hair, and get dressed whilst he watched me, interspersed with picking him up/snuggling him etc. Changed his nappy and got him into clean clothes.
11ish downstais, I would eat something whilst he perched on my lap. Then we'd begin the process of "going out". So I'd get his bag together, get push chair up, clean my teeth and put makeup on, feed him. This could be a fast or slow process depending on how happy he was to be put down. He'd lie under his babygym, or sit in bouncy chair.
At whatever time we were ready, we would go out. Either shopping, or for coffee or to someone's house, maybe the park. Either the NCT girls would meet, or my other friends with babies, occasionally family. I'd always have lunch out. He'd nap in pushchair and have a feed and I'd change a nappy.
3pm ish I'd come home and tidy up/do some cleaning/laundry/dinner prep or whatever for an hour. Somegtimes he would be quite whingey and I would sling him, othertimes happy to be put down. I did leave him a bit to whinge for this hour though as I couldn't feel relaxed if I had lots of jobs to do. Would always go to him if he cried, obviously. There would be a feed around now.
4pm ish out for walk with dog.
4.30ish sit down with cuppa, feed, cuddles. Bit more dinner prep, laundry whatever needed doing.
5pm ish there would be a feed. I'd be knackered by now and would be vegetating on sofa drinking tea and cuddling.
6pm ish bath and change into nightclothes (same as day clothes!!)
Downstairs and into Moses basket for "sleep". He'd sleep for an hour or so at a time then have a little feed/cuddles. DH came home around 7.30 and we'd eat dinner, he would normally sleep but sometimes we'd have dinner with him on a lap!
He'd stay with us in the living room until we went up around 10pm. Usually he'd sleep.
Then up to bed, nappy change for him, feed. He would then have a fussy time maybe for 90 mins or so, I'd read a book and he'd lay across me and I'd gently waggle his head back and forth. This was the only way he'd drop off! He'd fall asleep properly around midnight and we'd co sleep maybe with one or two feeds until he got up with DH at 06.30.

As you can see we achieved very little but I set the bar very low! I had a really blissful time with him. Now he's 15 months and it's all soft plays and disgusting playgroups with grubby toys I look back really fondly on all those lovely long lunches and shopping trips and good natters! We had bad days where he would cry and cry but not many. Good luck!!

Bumpsadaisie · 11/03/2013 11:09

PS the first two weeks you are on a kind of mad high - the birth's over, you've DONE IT after all that worry, the slog of pregnancy is over, there is no baby IN ME ANYMORE! Etc. That carries you through. The harder bit is probably the second month - when baby is still very newborn but you are starting to get tired. But its find - soon they will be 10 or 12 weeks old, and a three month old is usually subtlety easier than a newborn - they are more predictable, sleep longer and are awake longer, and it gets slightly easier to manage and know when you can find a chunk of time in which to do what needs doing.

Bumpsadaisie · 11/03/2013 11:27

PPS Try to enjoy it too, at least the good days. If you have a DC2, it will still be lovely, but you will never again get the chance to just be you, your partner (assuming you have one) and one baby. There will be a demanding toddler on the scene too, and there just isn't the opportunity for a love-in in the same way. There are other things that are better second time around to make up for it (eg the sight of your children together can make you cry, both in the heartwarming sense when they are being lovely, and in the desperate sense when they are fighting!), but you will never again have the chance to dote together with your partner on your little first born. Second time around its much more of a firefight than a calm love-in!

Unless you have a big gap between them ... now there's an idea! Why didn't I think of that!

Bumpsadaisie · 11/03/2013 11:30

PPPS sorry - I should also add that in the first few weeks, both my DCs slept in my bed on or near me, while DH slept in the spare room. The babies were much happier as they just wanted to be near me, DH got some decent sleep so was able to function and support me. Once they were out of the newborn phase, we started getting them to sleep in their basket/cot.

ZuleikaD · 11/03/2013 11:33

Yes, I'm moving into the spare room with this DC as well - DH can do any night-time getting up with the other DCs!

OddFrog · 11/03/2013 11:46

We are at the 12 week mark now and it is really lovely. I also have a 3 year old DS so I've been juggling a bit, but baby DD is pretty laid back.

Weeks 1-2 are wild! The responsibility, hormones, recovery, learning how to change, feed, help them to sleep, did I mention the hormones?
Weeks 3-6 you are getting the hang of the basics, but are getting tired too. Just keep going, you can do it!
Weeks 6-12 starting to get easier and you'll be much more confident about baby's needs. You might be getting the odd Good Sleep... Look out for growth spurts, feeding all the time and asleep when not feeding. Very tiring especially if bf. remember to eat yourself!
Week 12 - onwards. We are beginning to see signs if a routine and baby is fitting in to family life. Sleeping much better. Just teething, weaning, growing, crawling, etc. to go in the next few months. :-)

Second babies are a bit different, but the above seemed to be the case for my first, too. Enjoy every moment and if bits are tough ( it is for everyone at times) you will get through it. Congratulations and good luck.

curiousgeorgie · 11/03/2013 11:55

6am - DH wake baby up, change nappy to wake her up a bit more and give bottle, the lay her next to me in bed. Watch TV, sleep, cuddle.

10am - get up, change and dress her. Give bottle.

Go for walk / visit people / do some food shopping / walk around the shops and have a coffee & kindle :)

2pm - change her nappy, give bottle. Put her in bed for a few hours or let her sleep on me..

Afternoon while she has her longest daytime sleep wash bottles, maybe prepare some dinner like a stew or chilli ready for later, maybe tidy up a bit (but probably just watch TV with her on my chest Smile as that is completely blissful and everything else can wait!)

6pm - daddy comes home and gives her a bottle, a bath and dresses her in pjs. Put her in Moses basket in living room till 10pm, when we give her one more nappy change and bottle and put in crib in bedroom.

2am - DH does Monday, Wednesday, Friday and I do the other days, get up, wake her up no matter how asleep she is and give her a 2am bottle and change bum. Straight back to sleep until we wake her at 6. Stop doing this at 6 weeks and she's sleeping through by 7 weeks.

I agree with other posters, leave the cleaning and everything else, just cuddle in front of TV... Such bliss :)

curiousgeorgie · 11/03/2013 12:00

Oh, and I started going to Gymboree, baby swimming, mother & baby group at the local library and meeting mummy friends so I had something to do every morning (or the option of it!) from about 8 weeks. It kept me sane and we still go now at 2.5...

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 11/03/2013 13:57

The strange thing is that even when you see it written down, it still doesn't make much sense til the baby actually arrives. Some are so easy you may even get a bit bored. Some are so high needs you'll struggle to get time to shower.

You may like this book but probably won't make too much sense again until baby arrives. Just take it one step at a time. It's hard but wonderful.

MamaBlue4 · 11/03/2013 14:42

They are hectic and some days I wanted to cry out of exhaustion, however no matter how much I love my twins, give me a single birth any day! Haha. I remember jotting a few notes down when ds1 was a newborn.

A day in the life - 9 days old. I also breastfed on demand.

05.34am - wake up, scream, 25 minutes nursing, sleep
06.17am - 14 minutes of nursing, sleep, quick breakfast, shower, husband leaves for work.
07.45am - wake up, scream, refuses to latch, bounced, 10 minutes of nursing, dress baby, bouncer, I get dressed, sleep.
08.30am - mommy time.
09.00am - wake up, fuss, nurse for 27 minutes, sleep, skin to skin, & nap for me.
11.32am - wake up, 7 minutes of nursing, 5 minutes of tummy time.
12.12pm - sleep, walk, 16 minutes of nursing, dinner for me.
13.25pm - afternoon nap, housework, nap for me.
15.13pm - wake up, scream, 24 minutes of nursing, refuses to settle, bouncer.
16.13pm - finally settles after a 5 minutes of nursing, sleep.
17.15pm - tea time, wakes up, 10 minutes of nursing, tummy time, sleep.
18.00pm - husband comes home, wake up, fuss, bath time, daddy skin to skin.
18.45pm - 26 minutes of nursing, music time, bedtime, sleep, mum & dad time.
19.30pm - wakes up, fusses, sleep.
21.00pm - wakes up, 6 minutes of nursing, our bed time.
23.12pm - wakes up, 10 minutes of nursing, sleep.
12.28am - wakes up, screams, daddy sings, sleep.
02.04am - wakes up, screams, 15 minutes of nursing, sleep.
02.53am - wakes up, fusses, daddy sings, rocked to sleep.
03.30am - wakes up, 5 minutes of nursing, sleep.
04.00am - wakes up, screams, passed from mum to dad, finally settles
04.26am - sleeps.

Then repeat, constantly haha. I think this was one of those lack of sleep days haha.

Every baby is different, every parent is different.

ZuleikaD · 11/03/2013 14:53

My own approach was: mouth open = nipple in. There's nothing that comforts/ soothes/ quietens/ feeds/ puts to sleep like boob. It's magic.

MamaBlue4 · 11/03/2013 15:17

ZuleikaD, I agree. I can remember countless times where he started suckling on my husband's skin thinking it was my boob, but hey it made him quiet until he realised there's no milk. Boobs according to babies are probably the best invention ever.

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