DD is a quiet girl, I'm not worried but others seem to be!

[Cyclefaster]

My DD is just 7 and has a good group of friends at school. She has always been the quieter one of the group, which initially I was concerned about but I have got over myself now! Mainly due to the fact if there is conflict within the group, DD will always just walk away from it and tells me about it. I see that as a strength.
Just recently though at friends birthday parties, she will go and hide behind a chair or sofa for a while. She does this at busy social family gatherings too. I know it's just because its got too noisy for her, or there's just too many people. If I'm there, I will just sit with her quietly until she feels more at ease. But if I'm not there she sits behind a chair for an hour and is ignored.
But other people always have to comment on this. I realise they are concerned ,but its just more attention on her which she doesn't need at that time. I am unsure on how best to deal with this? DD said to me at a party last week when the other girls were performing a dance " I'm just a quiet girl Mummy and I don't want to be with them".
Thoughts please x

I think that at the age of 7, hiding behind a chair is a bit more than mot wanting to join in and looks a bit "unusual" so draws comments. Perhaps you could help her deal with those situations differently, in a a less blatantly overwhelmed way?

I'm not sure what to do. She says she does enjoy the parties,but then later she says she feels stressed out! XDH is similar at social gatherings. He doesn't hide behind a chair but will just sit and not engage or go for a walk!

Have you had her hearing checked recently? The recent change could be down to glue ear. If she's had a series of colds recently it may me she can't distinguish between lots of voices; parties with high noise levels are tricky to deal with.

My DD (who is a natural observer amyway) withdrew from 'busy' situations because the general hubbub was just too much to process when her glue ear was at it's worst. She would lip read instead.

What toasted teacake said, my dd would get really overwhelmed with general noise/not knowing which direction a voice was coming from & withdraw.

Other than that, if I wasn't staying at the party, I'd probably warn the host that dd may opt out for a bit & stress that it wasn't unusual/something to be worried about & to ignore.

Oh that's a good thought Teacake. Thank you, it's not been checked recently and she has had a run of colds and coughs.

She sounds lovely and special your dd. my ds is the same and really can't bear over crowding or too much noise. I've had comments galore about it but have learnt to just appreciate him even more. It seems socially unacceptable in some attitudes I've come across for a child to be quiet or reserved. Apparently this just isn't 'normal'! Enjoy your lovely girl and just keep building her confidence and spending time with her.

Thanks Scotty. I wouldn't change her for the world. I reassure her it's okay to be quiet and it would be boring if we were all noisy and loud!