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Parenting

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Original poster

Swearing - how should I stop my child if dp won't stop swearing in front of her?

16 replies

scoobysnax · 21/01/2004 13:05

Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with my 4 yr old occaisionally swearing in frustration...
She has copied her dad, and although I have often asked him to stop swearing in front of her, he won't. This doesn't happen frequently (from either of them).
What's the best approach for handling this with dd? (Dp is beyond redemption)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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nutcracker · 21/01/2004 13:13

Oh my god. I have the exact same problem. My dp swears, quite alot actually and i've asked him to stop several times but he won't. The kids used to copy him but now they know that they shouldn't. I just told them that they are not very nice words to say and that daddy shouldn't say them either really. Now if my 2 yr old dd hears me tell dp off fro swearing then she says to him ' it's not big and it's not clever'

Original poster

scoobysnax · 21/01/2004 13:25

Nutcracker - what a good plan - I can get dd to tell off dp instead of having to do it myself!

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nutcracker · 21/01/2004 13:41

It worked for me, well it stopped the kids anyway. Dp just ignores anyone who tells him not to do anything. He's more childish than the kids.

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GenT · 21/01/2004 13:48

With Money. They say it is the root of all evil but hey, it can increase a savings account.

I suggest you get a piggy bank or bank of some sort, and for ever swear word, it will cost him say 50p or a pound. It can be an expensive habit.

My dh is an elcetricain and seems a bit careless about those little fuses. They drive me up the wall esp, if Ihave to pick them up. If he can't be bothered to pick them up, well it will cost him a pound if I have to. It seems to have worked as after 3 weeks, I didn't have to pick them up but baby's bank did get heavier too.

GenT · 21/01/2004 13:51

Note to self, please spell check before posting.

My dh swears, but will never say it in front of me and esp. not in front of baby, he will mouth it if relaying a conversation, which is acceptable but don't swear at me.

Children learn from grownups.

aloha · 21/01/2004 13:53

If it's any consolation, I swear sometimes and so does dh and his dd doesn't swear at all (she's 12). She knows all the words of course - she's watched Billy Elliot (!) but doesn't use them. Ds says 'bollocks' when he drops something (my fault) but I don't comment at all and hope he stops!

Original poster

scoobysnax · 21/01/2004 13:57

Aloha - I have tried the not commenting approach too, but am having to come to terms with the fact that it hasn't really worked in our case!

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Batters · 22/01/2004 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThomCat · 22/01/2004 13:06

I'm going to have to put ear plugs in Lottie when we're driving! My language is terrible in the car!!

Nicksie · 22/01/2004 13:11

Message withdrawn

GenT · 06/02/2004 19:56

scoobysnax, how is the swearing coming. I remembered you when I was in this shop and saw a SWEAR BOX emblazened on a piggy bank. Only cost a fiver. Should we get one for your dp?

GenT · 15/02/2004 06:30

just a bump for scoobysnax...update

twiglett · 15/02/2004 08:54

message withdrawn

Tortington · 15/02/2004 09:45

i think at that age its old enough to explain that dad and mum can do things children can't - do as i say not as i do! mine certainly know and have done since they were young. hubby and i certainly havent got mouths that the virgin mary would be proud of - the first word when we stub a toes or drob something certainly isnt gosh blimey oh dear how blooming unfortunate oh never mind!

i have inlaws however who think its funny for litle children to swear after copying of their parents - i think its uncouth and not in the least funny. i think thats a lesson in positive reinforcement - dont laugh at children when they do it.

my children havew always known that adults can do stuf kids cannot - drinking, smoking, sex. there is certainly an element of do as i say not as i do. i dont think my children are better equiped than anyone elses to deal with this knowledge and i have three children to be proud of

Original poster

scoobysnax · 15/02/2004 10:11

We have had no more swearing from dd recently, although dp has not improved!!!!

I am following the doctrine of telling her it is wrong to say some words, and that when daddy says them he is wrong too. Of course she likes to be able to tell her dad off!

The whole issue has gone dormant currently, but I am sure it will come back again. Dp is a bit highly strung and sadly I am not confident of making any progress with him on this one!

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HiddenSpirit · 15/02/2004 10:52

SS I know how you feel. DP is a lost cause on this one too DS1 has taken to saying f**ker (although hasn't for a couple of weeks now) and I know this has come from DP. He gets a bit involved in his on-line gaming and at random times will come out with this and other colourful words when he gets killed etc.

Been saying to DS1 that these are silly words and that he shouldn't say them and Daddy shouldn't say them either. He know takes great delight in coming to me and saying "Daddy's saying silly words" lol

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