Who else is fed up of perfect parents?

[vikivix]

Just letting off some steam here after yet another playdate with perfect parents who's kids are 'so advanced' and who's kids are just 'tired' when they hit my kid. Is it just my little mum group that's so competetive? They even try to outdo each other on who brings the best biscuits!

(They're lovely really, just getting to me a bit today I think.)

hate'em. Munich is full of them, with perfectly dressed, perfectly behaved miniature adults sitting quietly next to them, home made cakes etc...I am trying to compete for the sake of my children, but its hard, damn hard.

i used to go to a mothers and toddlers group and i have never been through such hell

it was cliquey beyond compare. i used to end up helping strangers children on the slide and the trikes because their own mothers were too busy sitting gossiping and bitching with their mates. i lost count how many times i wiped a strange childs nose

and every time i went up to the organiser to give her my 50p she asked me "whats your name again?" even after a year. stupid cow

and beware if you ever sat in someones else seat -

they used to keep seats beside them til their mates came in, i could go on and on but i wont

It's you, taking it to heart. Sorry to say it but they probably all go home feeling and thinking exactly the same and who ever responds to their child being violent by saying "oh sorry he really is a little shit isn't he?"

If it makes you feel that bad find other friends it's easy to do when you have kids, really easy.

i disagree

if my dd's hit another child i just say sorry, make them say sorry, give them a telling off and thats it

theres no need to make excuses, be it "she a little brat" "shes tired" or otherwise

we all know what small children are like

Stepford mothers would make me run a mile! Glad I am just a tatty ol' part-time mum and employee with no time to carefully tie up my dd's hair or bake biscuits or go to M&T groups.

Ah, that makes me feel better, I know I'm being a bit sensitive about it, most mums are great, it's just one or two 'perfect' ones who drive me crackers. And mums can be a bit cliquey. The ones in my group were agreeing today to barring one of the kids from playdates because she's got a nanny now and they don't want to mingle with the hired help. I don't understand it really because one to one these are nice women.

With the hitting, I know it's not the kids fault, and I'm by no means a perfect parent, but it's like you say, nailpolish, very often the supermums are so busy yapping about how they're booking their kid into the best nursery in town, or entering them for baby competitions, they don't notice they're little angels are about to drop a large object on another one's head.

I can't put my finger on it but there is a "look" I get from some other mums and it makes me feel "Oh god what have I done/not done now", whether it's because I am giving DS a cup of formula, mentioning that I work, saying I didn't use Gina, or whatever, at some groups I feel I can only takle a few steps into a conversation before I start feeling judged.

I have some lovely new mother & baby friends who I really get on with so I don't think it's me - I think it's that some groups develop a cliquey / "you're in or you're out" agenda. And I think that may be because some women when they have kids - some, not all - grasp it as an arena in which they can have power and influence. Just like bullies at school really.

Ive decided to opt out of going to baby groups this time round. I have a friend, he's great, doesnt know anything about babies and when I visit him its so refreshing to talk about music, art and never mention the kids! BTW he is a platonic male friend. I have concluded that this is the best type as long as your partner or husband can cope with it.

I don't believe in them. I used to get mega paranoid about one particular lady whose baby was born same day as Sam. Her house was fab, her DS1 perfect..... found out years later she had severe depression, her DH was a nasty bully and when she had her ds2 who was mildly not pretty she totally rejected him and would admit to not liking him at all.
(Not saying she was a bad person btw, but dshe was very judgemental of me, or rather Sam who has gone on to have AS)

My sis- perfect in every way- new saab for birthday, jet setter dh.... too scared to be alone in the dark so ahs to have people stay

Ex-friend of mine for school rejected her two best mates (me and another friend) and didn't invite to Christening last month becasue (whispers) their kids aren't normal. yes Sam has As, other kid has dyslexia for good ness sake. She is attractive, successful (well Daddy is and he buys house / employs her DH); she also has to have her Mum around each DAY as she can't cope with cooking dinner and two under fives.

The world is full of 'em. John Farrell's got a great new book out about 'em, called (aptly) 'May Contain Nuts'.

I've known a few, so smug and self-congratulatory I don't know how they get anything done w/their hands so busy patting their own backs all the time.

Of course not, I'm one and so are all my friends and so is everybody else I know.

punch their lights out thensay - sorry just tired.

nick their rich tea biscuits - dunk it coffee and say - sorry am just exploring

smack them then ask if they will come round for coffee next week

when they look at you bizarrly - tell them that after the primeaval tasks of washing, feeding etc. one of the THE most important jobs a parent has is that of socialising their children so they can become well rounded socialble likalbe well mannered affable wonderful, compassionate human beings.

loving neglect it is termed.

i think its fucking lazyness. a 'oh fuck it attiture' wrapped in a laura ashley dress.

Lol expat That neatly sums up a couple I know too..

lol at laura ahsley dress

NP
That toddler group sounds awful! Was it in Edinburgh? LOL!

no it was Fife

we lived there for a while but it was wiiiieeeerrrrdddd

Aye, I agree, NP. I've got a pal up there. She's childless, so not into that kiddy scene.

But DH was driving back home last we were there and muttered, 'It's nice, but it's weirdy like.'

going for my weekly shopping in fife was an experience

they all wear their slippers to the shops

and thats just the tip of the iceberg

Slippers to the shop!?

OMG! You could get thrown out of Edinburgh for that!

:o

Saw your comment about children hitting other children. I accept it's going to happen. But to me it is not acceptable when the parents see their child hit mine and then do nothing to tell their child they shouldn't do it. Maybe they want their children to grow up to be bullies.

mum2ben, someone who used to bring her ds round now doesn't (much!). he used to drop his crisps everywhere, used to throw my dd's toys about, then started pushing her about because thats what he does with his cousin. although the boy and my dd are roughly same size, he's older than her. the mother never said anything to him til i told him off he now doesn't drop his crisps everywhere, he certainly doesn't throw her toys about because they get put in naughty box sorry if i sound sanctimonious but i think parents should set examples for their children because children learn (when they're young, anyway) from us. if we don't set the proper example, we can't excuse them by saying he/she's tired fgs. dd only just gone one and she knows it's naughty to hit people because it hurts, so why can't these cliquey mothers sort themselves out?

bit of rant, sorry

"Glad I am just a tatty ol' part-time mum and employee with no time to carefully tie up my dd's hair or bake biscuits or go to M&T groups"

lol blueshoes - can I just clarify that as a full time SAHM I most certainly don't have time to tie up dd's hair or bake biscuits. I do however sometimes go to M&T!