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When to potty train a boy?

17 replies

mummysmilk · 04/05/2006 12:35

I want to potty train my son in the summer when he will be 20 months. DH is fine with this,so are my family but MIL and numerous other members of DH family keep telling me it is too young for a boy. I dont know how MIL can say its too young cos DH was trained at 19 months, so she says.
Just wondered when other people have potty trained and was it difficult? I also keep getting people tell me it will be a nightmare and I should wait but he already goes to sit on his potty.Its normally after he has done a poo or nothing at all but atleast he gets the idea of it!

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ja9 · 04/05/2006 12:41
Shock

my ds 20 mths and no where near ready....

i've heard somewhere between 2 and 3 for a boy...

but then all kids different and i guess it depends on your perseverence too.

Waswondering · 04/05/2006 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BudaBabe · 04/05/2006 12:47

I waited till DS was almost 3. I coulnd't be bothered and people had warned me that if you start too early it can be a nightmare. It took about a week.

A friend tried with her DS last Easter hols when he was 2.5 and it was a nightmare.

Why do you want to train so early?

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Heathcliffscathy · 04/05/2006 12:53

i think is nothing to do with age. when he is spacing ou wees more, knows and can name when he is doing wees and starts to seem to want to use a potty or the loo (copying you and dh) then you can think about it. have just trained ds (2 1/2) and he took 2 days because it wasn't so much training, he was just ready. i think he was very early in that respect too. cod would argue between two and two and a half, but i really think just so much easier to follow their lead...have apotty in the house. let them start using it if they want to. talk to them about using loo when you're doing so etc etc

elliott · 04/05/2006 12:56

how can you tell if they are spacing out wees? I'm dreading starting with ds2 having made such a hash of ds1, but he is getting quite interested now and asking for the potty. Shows some signs of being able to anticipate when a poo is coming but I'm not sure about wees. Arrggh, even just thinking about it brings me out in a cold sweat...

Heathcliffscathy · 04/05/2006 13:00

for eg if nappy is dry after a nap....

Heathcliffscathy · 04/05/2006 13:02

elliot we were dreading it too, tbh i think we delayed out of sheer fear....ds has been telling us when he poos and wees for a while now....

where is cod. she has got the right idea about potty training i thnk (except that i disagree with her about leaving it longer...i really think that it is so much easier when they are ready...but also when you really commit: NO MORE NAPPIES except at night...NO EXCEPTIONS)

can't expect the child to get that needs to go to potty or loo if sometimes he can go in a nappy...

elliott · 04/05/2006 14:54

he doesn't really have naps. I have noticed nappy is often surprisingly dry though.
Oh no, am I really going to have to do this...

bunnyrabbit · 04/05/2006 16:06

My DS is 2yrs 7 mnths and runs if I mention the potty. Will sit on the loo if cajoled, but doesn't do anything. I don't think he's anywhere near like ready yet. Won't even tell me if he's done a poo.

I'm leaving it as long as possible....

BR

alex8 · 04/05/2006 16:14

Mine son is 2 yrs 10 months had every sign of readiness mentioned here (and elsewhere) and its still been hell. Its over a month now and hes ok at wees but poos are still impossible. So it one of those things that everyone has a theory but sadly it rarely covers every child.

sarahlou1uk · 04/05/2006 21:51

My ds is 3.2 and we have just managed potty training. It took about 5 days but now he tells me when he needs a wee and also, when he needs a poo. He will only sit on the toilet - won't stand and wee but I'm ok with that. I did try earlier but he used to scream at me and get really upset when I mentioned taking his nappy away and having big boy pants. You will know when they are ready. Every boy is different.

ghosty · 04/05/2006 22:02

We 'tried' DS at 2 and a half and after 5 days of changing him at least 8 times a day we gave up. I didn't see the point in doing it and 'perservering' - he clearly wasn't ready and tbh I never understand why people 'plan' to potty train at a certain time just because they think they ought to. My friend's little boy is 2 and a half and she has been 'trying' for 6 months and he still isn't getting it but she insists on putting him in pants - nightmare!
DS was 2 years and 11 months when we decided to give it another go and he was dry immediately ... not one change needed at all and he never once had an accident with wees - poos were another matter however but we cracked it eventually.
DD is 2 and 3 month old and I have no plans to potty train her - she sits on her potty and on the loo several times a day but has yet to produce anything so the nappies are staying on!

acnebride · 04/05/2006 23:34

i'm trying with ds at 2.4 months, probably too early but I said I would try in the warm weather whatever happened, also I am just sick of nappies. Also mainly because although he rarely does anything on the potty or loo (occasionally it has happened), he can pick up his small bath boat and pee into that with total accuracy. So I reckon he's physically capable of getting it!

I was going to ask a question about whether you get boys to pee sitting down or standing up - which do you do?

ghosty · 05/05/2006 01:46

Did DS sitting down first then he wanted to stand up like Daddy so he had to stand on the step stool.

threebob · 05/05/2006 02:51

Ghosty how did you crack poos? Bob has been dry for 4 months, but we have had around 10 poos in the correct place in all that time.

Alipiggie · 05/05/2006 03:18

DS1 started at 3, before he started nursery. Cracked it in one week, constant vigilance :o. However, he's still such a deep sleeper that we've not got him dry at night. He likes water to drink and as we're at altitude here in Colorado and it's warm not going to deprive him, healthier. I'll just wait for that one until his body tells him he needs to get up and pee, no problem with poohs mind you. Ds2 - 2 1/2. He's much better and now having been at pre-school for a month takes himself off to the toilet - which is so sweet. Odd accident but hey he gets very easily distracted. It's up to the boys I think if they can ask and you don't mind changing 10times a day, you can do it earlier.

koalabear · 05/05/2006 05:16

no right age - it's that simple

it's about whether or not your child, absent of age or sex, is ready

my friend started her boy at 2 - it was, and is a nightmare, and he is now 5

there are signs as to whether they are ready ....

Dr Chou, MD wrote ... "The most important factors are not necessarily age, but rather physiologic, physical and psychological readiness.

Before a child can be "toilet trained", she must have attained a certain amount of physiologically readiness, namely "bladder readiness". In infancy, babies frequently are unable to hold large amounts of urine in their bladder and void small amounts. As a child grows older, her bladder becomes more mature, and is able over time to hold larger amounts of urine between voids. This comes hand in hand then with the additional ability to be able to increase the interval between voids. When you notice that your child is dry at longer intervals (i.e. dry after a nap or for at least 2 hours) and is voiding large amounts at a time, then that is a sign that your child may be physiologically ready for toilet training.

Another component, which overlaps with psychological readiness, is the ability of your child to recognize that she is voiding (i.e. if your child does not recognize when she is voiding, toilet training is virtually impossible). Some children start showing some signs of "bladder readiness" around 2 years of age. Most will attain it by three years of age.

Another component of readiness is physical readiness. This includes the ability to walk well (to and from the bathroom), to be able to pull pants up and down, and the ability to get on and off the toilet/potty chair fairly independently. While this may seem like a "given", think about grandmas who claim their children were toilet trained at 6 months or a year of age. Some kids are not even walking at a year, how could they be toilet trained?

The last component is probably the most important: psychological readiness. Or what I like to call willingness! If a child is not bothered by a wet or dirty diaper, if she is uninterested or unwilling to sit on the potty, believe me, you are not going to get very far. As the saying goes, you can place a toddler on a potty, but you can't make her pee. Toddlers quickly learn that they can control their bodily functions.

Once your child is showing all these components of toilet training readiness, most experts recommend waiting at least three months before you start toilet training to ensure that all is set. This is a good time to "set the stage" for toilet training as well (letting her observe others using the toilet, introducing books or videos on the subject, starting to talk about them using the potty soon).

Last but not least, look at yourself and your family situation. In order for toilet training to be as painless and smooth as possible, make sure that you AND your child are ready. Some kids toilet train quite easily, while for others it becomes what seems like a long drawn out battle. If you are incredibly busy at work, moving to a new house or a new baby is due soon, it's ok to wait a few months to let things settle down. This is probably one of the biggest steps for your child and it's worth it to wait."

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