dc playing at house youve never been to?

[familyfun]

when your young dcs are invited to play alone at a schoolfriends house do you go first with them or just let them go with the parents?
dd1 has had a few schoolfriends over to play in the hols with their parents and these friends are now happy to come over alone. only problem is there have never been return invites so me nor dd have ever been to their houses, so when they invite dd over alone shes not as comfortable to go over. (and im not really comfortable sending her off to a house ive never been in)
what worries me, unsupervised dogs - dd hates dogs
smoking - if the parents smoke in the house i dont want dd there
playing out - dd only plays in the garden alone not the street
anyone else in house

I've dropped my kids round to other people's houses and have nipped in for 5 mins or so. I've had 6-7 year olds round to my house after school when I've brought them home with us. I have a dog which is kept away from my kids friends, more for the dogs sanity. My children play out usually but I don't allow them out of the garden when their friends are here. I'm not sure what you mean about other people in the house, my mum has been here for a bit when other children have, as has my neighbour, another friend and my husband.

You have to be led by your dd here. If she is not comfortable going to play at friends on her own yet do not force her. If she is invited, and wants to go I would go with her for the drop off and just ask if I could come in for ten mins or so as you are not sure if dd is happy to stay. Noone really wants a little guest to be dropped off only to be unhappy and perhaps start crying and then have to have to arrange an emergency pick up.
If people are not happy with that its probably best your dd has friends over at your house

I see what you mean - it's a tricky one. I would just say to the parents, is it OK if I come in for a bit as DD is a bit nervous. YOu could take a cake or something. In fact, someone said this to me recently - mother of DD's friend who was invited around to our house. It was fair enough and the mum was good company so all worked out well.

I don't think

Posted too soon, sorry. I don't think it's wrong for you to want to check out house (and also parents/ other residents) before leaving your DD somewhere. Natural for you to be protective as a mum.

shes only 5, can be shy round people she doesnt know.
her friends are happy to come here alone now but have been several times with their moms over last 2 years so are used to us and their parents are happy for them to come.
i mean i know the moms to chat to outside school but they could live in filth, they could smoke inside, there could be dad/nan/grandad/other residents ive never seen.
yes i think i will suggest i drop her off and stay for 10 mins to make sure she is happy and i am too.

ds is only 4 so I don't feel comfortable leaving him over at others house without me there, even if I know the parents.

If he goes over, I go with him but I stay out of his way and spend the time chatting with parents, but if they are fine with leaving their child with me, that's fine but I invite them in for a coffee first.

When he's older he can, but he's 4 and that's not the right age for me.

Don't worry at all. Just say is it ok if you come too. I've got three kids, all very different and don't feel bad about asking. It's not just about going at the child's pace- you should go at your pace too.

I've never had anyone make me feel bad about this.

thanks, she is getting more confident and will happily go to parties with other parents who she trusts and after school activities but i think another unknown house can be unnerving

no would not happen