Do things really improve dramatically after 12 weeks?

[MrsRadicchio]

Just wanted to canvas opinion following a feature on Woman's Hour a few weeks back.

There was a feature on motherhood and how it is so much harder than anyone tells you. However, the people on the feature all kept saying "the first 12 weeks" and suggesting things get much better after that point.

That certainly wasn't my experience with DS1, as we had the 4 month sleep regression, weaning issues, seperation anxiety etc. It was very up and down, no clear moment for me when it all got easier, rather phases of calm and difficulty which is still the case tbh (he is 2.5 now).

Other experiences?

I am really hoping so ! I don't really remember the first few months with my first ds (possibly blanked it all out :)) my new ds is 10 weeks and I am still struggling emotionally with the huge change again (ds1 is almost 5 so life had gotten easy maybe too easy!)

Maybe it takes 3 months for most mums to get used to life with a baby but maybe longer if said baby is harder work ?

Definitely was for me for my first two.

DD1 started sleeping 8-8 from around 14 weeks
DD2 was waking only once from around 12 weeks

Dts now 12 months still crap sleepers but things did get better around 3 months old (before getting worse again towards 6...)

I didn't really find that things improved sleep wise but just generally. Ds was easier and happier during the day. Things then just got better and better!

I wouldn't say dramatically better. the gradual trend towards improvement becomes noticeable then perhaps? but then around 4m ish things go a bit tits up again! I'm sort of with you op but for me the biggest thing was when ds1 started walking, which coincided with sleeping through the night.

come on ds2, you can do it before 16m...

Yes, my OP was quite negative but there were also a lot of nice bits before 12 weeks! I also have DS2, who is 12 weeks now, but I don't notice any big difference in him...it just seems to be touted as such a milestone age and I don't really get it, ime.

Though if either of mine were sleeping through at 12 weeks I probably would see it as a milestone age!

Having said that, I know a lot of people whose DCs were sleeping well at 12 weeks but it did not last. Which again makes me feel the 12 weeks milestone is a bit of a myth.

I think there's some truth as around 3 months a lot babies start falling into a more predictable pattern of feeding, they also become more aware of their surroundings and are more easily entertained. It is also when colic is supposed to end.

It goes without saying though that every baby's different, blah blah blah ( you know whst I mean)

This was true for us. At 5 months DS is a totally different child to when he was before about 10 weeks. In those early weeks he was so grumpy, colicky, always crying.
But he's smiley, cuddly, sociable and totally gorgeous. Plays nicely. Still clingy but that's manageable.

On the other hand, Sleep has got a lot lot worse. Before about 16 weeks he was doing 6-7 h stretches. Now it's a nightmare. Every bloody hour last night. But even so, its so much easier, the inconsolable crying was so awful, these days if he's crying its almost always easy to fix.

Not at all! I'm still chasing the 'oh at c age it'll get better...' Fallacy and it hasn't happened (almost 2 now). I do hope he starts going to bed and sleeping normally at two as so many say...

No. At 13 weeks growth spurt, teething and sleep regression started to kick in

At 14 weeks here. Still lots of crying during the day... I was on the countdown to 12 weeks and I'm disappointed that she didn't magically stop!

On the plus side she is sleeping for much longer periods at night and I can put her on the play mat for all of 10mins instead of the zero minutes prior to 12 weeks so I can now eat a sandwich.

On the downside she has become resistant to daytime naps.

Overall I think things are easier post 12wks, but nowhere near as much as I was hoping.

I found a huge difference at 12 weeks but I suspect that was when I got over the traumatic birth, various post-birth ailments, got the hang of breastfeeding etc as much as DS becoming "easier". I think it's when I got used to being a mum more than anything. Before that it was just a tired, weepy blur.

Totally agree whatsoever. I don't think children (babies or toddlers) are easier at any point, it's our way of dealing with things that changes. Some people love the newborn bit (because they stay where you put them etc), some like the baby phase (there is a lot to be said for those chubby cheeks, legs and arms) and some like the toddler bit (more chance of a conversation and being able to do more in general). Whichever bit you prefer will seem easier to you but all stages have their awful bits.

I think that by 12 weeks we have maybe got the beginnings of a grasp on the whole parenting thing and therefore it is assumed to be easier but that's the wrong word really it took me about a year to properly realise I was a mum. Hope this makes sense

I think it is mostly a myth wheeled out placate shell-shocked new mothers .

Neither of my two notucably got much easier at that point. Dd Was still waking up six or seven times a night, DS chose 12 weeks as the start of long and proteacted feeding battles.
I think the main thing about the 12 week Mark is that by that point parents are adjusting to parenthood - they have let go of their 'old' pre- kids life and expectations have changed.

DS was 8mo before things got noticably better and 1 before life got good between 3 and 5 months it was pure hell with very little enjoyment to the point i counted down the days until he went to stay with his nanna, now he's 1 he is like a different person i love being with him.