what to tell ds(5) about where babies come from

[thepixiefrog]

Hi

My DS occasionally asks about where babies come from and I am as honest as I can be, apart from the actual part about having sex.

I tell him about how the baby grows and how it comes out, have even shown him pictures in pregnancy calendars online of babies at different stages of development. I also tell him the proper names for male and female body parts etc.

My parents NEVER talked to me about sex, so I'm not sure what is appropriate to tell him at this age. He hasn't asked how the baby gets into mummy's tummy in the first place and he has no idea about a father's role in all of this.

What is it appropriate to say about intercourse, and what do you leave until later?

I've seen on here people advocate 'special cuddle for mummies and daddies' - I think that should suffice?

Don't give more information than he's asked for. He knows that babies grow in mummies' tummies, and you could tell him that it takes a mummy and a daddy to make a baby (ie it's not something that happens spontaneously). You don't need to go into sex.

Answer his actual question. If he asks 'where do babies come from' tell him, 'mummy's womb' or 'mummy's tummy'.

That may lead to more questions.

Don't answer anything he hasn't asked yet.

I tell mine that the seeds are made in daddy's body and when they are ready they jump out and they jump quickly into the secret door between mummy's legs.

Yes just answer exactly the question asked, which you have done.

"He hasn't asked" - so don't answer it yet. Just stick with answering the current question, as honestly as you can but in non-scary language. If he wants to know more, then he'll ask - either straight away, or when he has thought through what you've told him so far.

They tend to just want one piece of information at a time, IME, and will just glaze over if you try to add too much detail!

Great! Thanks for all your replies. I'm relieved to see that I seem to be on the right track.

It can be really difficult to know whether I'm dong the right thing or not as my parents didn't tell me a thing about it. I found out about periods from my class mates when I was 10, and they all laughed at me when I asked what they are talking about!

Thanks again :-)

Have you seen Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole? It's a nice, basically factual explanation done with humour.

I prefer using the correct words for things, so I talk about wombs and not 'tummies', and sperm rather than 'seeds'.

Not keen on 'special cuddle'. My 7yo has asked, and received the basic explanation of sex, which I kept brief and factual and described as only something grown-ups do. It doesn't seem to have bothered or disturbed him or made him at all interested in the subject - he was very matter-of-fact about the explanation and lost interest straight away.

I do agree, though, with only answering the question that's been asked.

I agree with EvenIf. All that coy business about 'special cuddles' makes me feel a bit . I told my DS1 when he was 4, because he asked. I showed him his scrotum, told him that daddies have sperm there and that Daddies use their penis to put the sperm inside the mummies and if a sperm meets an egg it grows into a baby. That seemed to satisfy him, and he wasn't traumatised at all. We read a book called Where Willy Went which was good. I did emphasise that you have to be a grown up to do it - decided not to get into discussing teenage pregnancy! - and that it was a good idea to be sure you really, really like the other person first! Ds2 is 6 and has never asked, so we haven't discussed it...