long day, stonking head ache...took it out on ds who was being usual self but tonight I couldn't deal with it. I even swore at him. Spent some time digging hole deeper then venting about being a crap parent which I usually internalise but at times just let it flow.
Have apologised but he not having a bar of it.
I was just thinking the other day that in the scheme of things I can't be doing things so completely craply that I am solely responisble for his behaviour but then I manage to show myself actually it is entirely possible that he is a complete product of me and I am utterly and completelty screwing him up.