Tough day ahead (3yo and baby)

[okthen]

Help! No idea how to get through today without losing my mind, my temper or both.

I had a bad night with the baby (17 weeks) and dd (3) has seriously got out of the wrong side of the bed. She has whined or kicked off about everything so far today- and when there's been nothing to kick off about, she's created something.

She almost certainly won't have a nap later and will probably refuse to go to the loo for hours on end too.

I hate to see her unhappy like this- and more immediately, don't know what to do with her/them all day.

Any ideas?

I'm a year ahead of you OP! My DC are 4.5 and 16 months I went back to work (3 days) 2 months ago.

3 years is a tough age gap; now at 4/1 there is pretty much nothing apart from parks and swimming that they both want to do, and I can't take them both swimming at once. My few attempts at taking DD to Storytime or a music group and having DS playing games on his camera quietly in the corner havn't really worked. DD will get her quality time when DS goes to school in the autumn.

I find it much harder than child! From my 4 yo's point of view, he had 3 years of full on attention, and now he has to share me and wait for things. Once the novelty of his baby sister had worn off, he got very demanding and erm, experimental, with his behaviour, although I have to keep telling myself that he is only 3 / 4 whatever and it may be nothing to do with his sister. Poo witholding is a big issue for us at the moment, has been for over a year.

I found that actually really all my 4 yo wants is age-appropriate attention. When you're exhausted and the weather is horrible, then there is no shame in a day on the sofa sharing DVDs and eating toast. We've made a lot of gingerbread men this winter too. And been to just about every museum in S and W Yorkshire.

A good network of mummy friends is invaluable too, and the odd cheap curry night out on your baby is old enough to leave for a few hours.

As for our housework.... there is a basket of washing that should have been put away about 3 days ago and the kitchen floor could really do with a wash.

Meant to say though, that now they are beginning to play together, and DD (1) adores DS (4). It's hard work (especially once the younger one is mobile!) but there are little, brief moments of loveliness.

bike ski run we are the same! My kids ages and gender are the same and I work 3 days. How are you doing anyway? I remember you from your sleep thread last week? (sorry for the highjack)

You are right mummy friends are hugely important and we all band together and tramp about a National Trust property. Good waterproofs and wellies have been key to not all going mad!

op It sounds like you did well.

Also fresh air makes all the difference to kids being happy and tired I think. We all get cabin fever otherwise!

Glad you got through the day without tears okthen. I did too and am quite proud of myself!

In some ways I find having two easier than having one! It can be a logistical challenge sometimes (DS1 always needs a poo in the middle of DS2's feed time etc) but I find the days fly past now, whereas before (I am a SAHM) I'd find myself clock watching a bit.

DS1 is the world's clingiest child (hence me becoming a SAHM!), and I have been pleasantly surprised at how well he has adapted to sharing my time and attention. He genuinely loves DS2 and there does not seem to be any jealousy or resentment. His behaviour veers off course sometimes, but I am putting that down to his age rather than the arrival of DS2, as a lot of my friends' children are behaving in the same way.

I still have bad days when I struggle, but I had these when DS1 was an only child.

I am currently sitting having a cuppa while DH plays transformers with DS1 and DS2 is snoozing in his chair...happy days! :)