HELP!!!!!!!!! 9yr old being bullied but getting into trouble

[LD1985]

My 9yr old boy has been having lots of problems at school, other kids poicking on him verbally, now he doesnt always have e words to use back so hes been fighting back physically, i do NOT approve of any violence taken by my son! But when they are constantly hounding him what is he supposed to do? Its got so bad a kid punched him in the face today thru no failt of his own but the head teacher rang me to tell me about it and that my son is in trouble but the other although he got told off his mother wasnt going to be informed cos these things happen!!!!!! I dont think i want him attendning that school any more due to htis hes not safe, its been going on for over a year and ive just had enough its only my son who gets told off and hes now depressed wetting his room and wants to run away. Please help with any advice

Oh how horrible :( I don't blame you at all for wanting to change his school. Have you asked for a one to one meeting with his form teacher? I think you need to know more about what is going on. Why do they pick on him? Does he make that worse by antagonising them? If he has behaviour problems he would benefit from you seeing your GP / health visitor and perhaps even a referral to a child psychologist. I agree from what you've said that changing his school might end up being the right thing to do, but if there are underlying problems that need sorting out with him you should try to address them, so that he doesn't end up moving school and the same scenario happening all over again. All the best x

How is he in himself on a daily basis . Do you notice changes in his behaviour before returning to school after holidays. How is he of an evening?? I know from my school years sometimes your face just doesn't fit. Actually I've seen it in the work place aswel. I would have no hesitation in changing my children's school if I knew they were being bullied. The effects of bullying can leave many people with ongoing traumas in adult life. Effecting how they interact and form relationships. You may find he changes school and he fits in a lot better. X

There are some good links on these pages:
www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/bullying/
www.education.gov.uk/schools/pupilsupport/behaviour/bullying
www.bullying.co.uk/advice/parents-advice/make-complaint

When we experienced similar we kept a daily diary of events then took them to the school and stressed that they were responsible for sorting the bullying out under their anti-bullying policy. Our daughter was nervous about presenting the school with the information but we stressed to her that schools have to have that policy and it needs to be resolved.

Good luck!

Thank everyone. Im trying to get an appointment with the head teacher and class teacher for next week but the head was off school today so will be later next week. Hes polite, curteous and generally a good kid, hes fine in lessons altho is easily distracted and just wants to play which has caused him issues with the teacher! Its just in play times and unsupervised moments that its happening, and cos the kids have learnt all they have to do is say something small he will explode and get into trouble. Over the last4 weeks it has gone from playground bullying to violence on both sides, my son has just had enough and isnt coping and thinks the only way to get his own back is by being physical with another child as this has gone on for so long. When i talked to him about the insident yesterday about being punched his response was 'its ok mum these things just happen to me' and thats not the right response his self eesteem is so low he thinks he deserves to be punched in the face! I spoke to my gp yesterday about all of this and the wetting etc and he was mortified that the school havent sorted this out sooner! He was going to talk to one of his collegues about it as he doesnt obivously want to perscribe medication if he can get away with it cos my son is so young. The school are going to get him into their nurture programme but a place isnt available until the summer term and im petrified that hes either gunna get seriously hurt or seriously hurt another child when he is lashing out becos of their teasing.