Ds meltdown at nursery

[JosBoys]

ds is 4. When I went to collect him from nursery, one of the teachers said he had had a meltdown. He was shouting and hit and kicked 2 of the teachers. By home time, he had apologised and was happy playing. He did tell me what had happened as soon as he saw me.
We have had problems with him hitting us but have used a few different techniques and it seemed to have stopped. He hasn't ever hit the nursery teachers before.
I'm a bit about it tbh. The teacher didn't give any context, just the basic information and asked me to sign a form to say she had told me. I'm worried about him being violent, and about why he's getting so angry at nursery (is it a sign he's unhappy there?!). I'm also a bit concerned that the teacher's attitude was quite closed. I feel as though I want to ask for a meeting to discuss it all in more detail but am I over-reacting?

no, I think its fair to ask for an opportunity to sit down and chat about it just find out what triggered it at least!

I would ask for a meeting too. She was probably too busy at home time to have an indepth discussion.

In your position, I would want to know exactly what triggered it.

I would just mention that both of my very well behaved boys had a moment each at nursery at 4 and a half years old. DS1 (who is obsessed with following rules, never hit, incredibly rule abiding generally) smacked a boy "because he was annoying". They apparently have a testosterone surge at 4 and a half years, so it does happen.

Mind you, I was very cross with him. He never hit again (he's 9 years now).

I don't think you are over reacting at all. It is upsetting and worrying when your child misbehaves at nursery.

However I want to reassure you that tantrums are not that unusual in that age group. Often over tireness, over excitement and other children can make a child more hyper and more like to throw a wobbly. Boys often need a little bit longer to grow up.

I suppose a lot depends on the frequency of the tantrum, what sparks the tantrums. What is your son's development like generally. (In particular speech?) Has your son had lot of colds, it may well be worth getting his hearing checked out.

Thanks everyone.

I'm actually awake because ds had a nightmare and now I'm worrying it was triggered by nursery

Sittinginthesun that's interesting about the testosterone surge and that your ds had an incident. Ds said it happened because he was angry with other boys who weren't doing as they were told. I guess the other part that concerned me was he said the teacher then tried to move his chair with him sitting on it and he fell. I haven't been able to tease out if that was before or after the hitting.

ReallyTired he is very articulate. He was an early talker (wasn't so keen on walking!) and everyone comments on how verbal he is. However, he has had lots of colds. I've never thought about checking his hearing. I've never noticed him not hearing but our house is quite loud because dh has elderly relatives with hearing difficulties and has learnt to talk loud to compensate.

I'm going to speak to nursery about it when we're next in. We had one incident months ago where ds shouted at another little boy and the nursery didn't try to establish the context. (he'd said he didn't want to be ds' friend anymore) It doesn't seem as importan to them as 'managing the bad behaviour' but I don't see how you can manage it if you don't know what is triggering it.