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Parenting

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Original poster

appropriate age to leave your baby with a sitter

13 replies

xXjoiedevivreXx · 25/02/2013 15:43

In this case my mum. I have a beautiful 5 week old boy and have been invited to a night out when he will be 8 weeks old, his dad is working that night so I would require my mum to babysit for the first time.

My mum has brought up 2 kids and she is the only person (other than his dad) that I would trust (for a very long time!) to look after him. Both his dad and my mum are happy for me to go out that night and for her to look after him but 8 weeks is so young! Plus I won't just be able to pop home if something happened as I'd be an hour away and it would prob be for 6 hours or so.

How old were your children when you first left them? Am I being selfish even considering this? I feel a bit guilty already at the thought! I'm totally undecided at the moment.

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PhyllisDoris · 25/02/2013 15:48

I left my DD with my parents at 6 weeks for the weekend - had to, no option. They were all fine, though my parents were exhausted when we got back on the Sunday, and due to their not very good eyesight, DDs bottles weren't as clean as they could have been :) - no damage done though.

MewlingQuim · 25/02/2013 15:55

I left DD for the first time with my DMIL and DFIL when she was about 10 weeks. It felt really weird to leave her but the PILs were desperate to babysit and I trust them completely. DD loves the time she spends with her GPs, they babysit about once a month now.

I won't be leaving my DM to babysit until DD is about 25 years old

ZuleikaD · 25/02/2013 15:59

I couldn't have left either of mine at that age because they were both evening cluster-feeders (every 20 minutes in DS's case) and there was no way I could express enough for that many feeds. Think they were at least 4m and taking a bottle before I left them.

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PhyllisDoris · 25/02/2013 18:03

Ah! My DD was on formula - long story there. That did make it easier to leave her with people.
IMO, the sooner they get used to being comforted by other people, the better. You never know when you might HAVE to leave a DC, and knowing they are happy would be just one less thing to worry about in an emergency.

Tee2072 · 25/02/2013 18:15

I left my son with his dad and grandad at 11 days old.

Do whatever you feel fine with.

Florin · 25/02/2013 18:23

It is whatever you feel comfortable with. Can you leave your baby with your Mum for an hour while you pop to the shops or something see how you all get on and go from there.
My dh and freely admit we are very clingy of our 8 month old ds. We have left him once when he was about 6 months old and was asleep the whole time and we are in no rush to do it again. My sister has a baby the same age and regularly leaves her baby with my parents including over night.

googietheegg · 25/02/2013 18:26

I haven't yet and dd is nearly 10 months. But we don't live near family so don't really have a choice.

LynetteScavo · 25/02/2013 18:30

There is no right answer, it's what ever you feel comfortable with.

I left my babies with my mum for a couple of hours while I had my hair done (left bottles of EB). I left DC1 with SIL over night when he was four months....so a total of 12 hours, but it was my own wedding night. I probably wouldn't have left my other DC over night at that age.

I might have been more relaxed about leaving mine with other people if I hadn't been BF...

lola88 · 25/02/2013 19:23

DS stayed with my mum over night at 3 weeks and has regularly stayed with grandparents and my sister since then, i think it has actually made him more secure he knows mummy will always come back and will just wave ta ta to me and go away happy as larry. If you are happy with it and you trust the people you leave your baby with then it is a good thing IMO

forevergreek · 25/02/2013 19:39

I think whenever suits you all. Maybe in the next couple of weeks you can leave him an hour or so with her so it's not such a jump? Maybe an hour one week at your house, the next week an hour with her taking him for a walk etc.

BackforGood · 25/02/2013 19:50

Agree with others - whatever you feel comfortable with. As suggested, why not leave for an hour or 90mins soon, to see how both you, and your Mum get on, and it might give you more confidence.

GingerDoodle · 25/02/2013 20:28

Left DD with DM & DF at a day old while we nipped into town.

Left her with a sitter (friend of a friend at our house) for approx. 8 hours (which included putting her to bed) when she was 11 weeks. I bricked it the day before and was very unsure but it was fine and on the actual day was very chilled.

Original poster

xXjoiedevivreXx · 25/02/2013 23:22

Wow. Thanks so much for your replies. Tbh I expected some negative comments. But I think that is because I feel guilty about it and thought people would think I was a bad mother!

Your comments have made me feel a lot more relaxed about it and willing to try the whole weaning myself into it by having my mum look after him for a short time building up to it. Daddy and I might even try going out for a couple of hours nearby! That way I'll feel more confident about leaving him for longer and can decide about the night out after a few trial runs.

Thanks!

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