Don't come and stay mum....

[HenD19]

My 3rd DC is due in May and my mum has said she will come and stay for a week after the baby is born but I don't want her to. I know that sounds really bratty and I don't want to cut my nose off to spite my face but she stayed after my dd was born and it was one of the most stressful weeks of my life. She wants me to tell her exactly what to do and is always asking annoying questions. I can't switch off when she's around and she definitely more of a hindrance than a help. She only lives an hours drive away so when she mentioned staying I suggested she comes over for a day at a time instead. Not sure what she thought about that suggestion though?
I'm sure I'll need some help after the birth but just not prepared for a really intense week with her when I'm bound to be an emotional sleep deprived wreck. AIBU?

HenD I completely sympathise. When I announced my due date of August my mother immediately said they wouldn't go on holiday then (as they usually do), adding that when my sister's last baby was born they more or less moved in for a month!!!!

I also find my mother's presence more of a hindrance than a help (mainly because she doesn't actually help, she just directs my dad to). I feel bad as I love her, and know she means well, but I totally understand where you are coming from about it being too stressful. I usually just give in out of guilt - my main advice would therefore be not to, and not to feel guilty about putting yourself first (I'll definitely try this out one day).

I was exactly the same - my mother is much closer so would come over every day but after a while I asked her to stop as it wasn't really helping me. I needed to get into my own routine and work it out myself, but it was good for my older dc's to get some undivided attention.

Can you ask your mum to have some other responsibility instead? For example, bringing the food, or taking other children away/out. That way it might feel less of a rejection for her.