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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it just me? Friends baby will happily nod off anywhere...mine will only self sooth at home

15 replies

muminneedofsleep · 18/02/2013 14:12

My baby girl is four months old she will happily go down for a sleep in her cot at home (most of the time) have a moan then nod off sucking her thumb/fist, however if anything unusual happens if we're at a family gathering or I have my friends round or we are out shopping she point blank refuses and works herself into such a state. This leads to people tutting putting head to side and going ohh she's hungry...she's not...I've had to leave a wedding early meals early and it's the family judging that stresses me out not her she can't help it.

My best friends baby boy is one week older and just sleeps wherever I feel like I can't even visit her because I know my lo will just scream the whole time. My friends great and just smiles and says dont worry but I'm starting to feel like a hermit now and have started avoiding going out now. Baby refuses to take a dummy (did up until a month ago) and won't fall asleep on bottle.

Not sure what I'm after really advice or someone going through similar would really help. I also have a three year old boy and feel guilty this may also start to effect him...husband works dawn till dusk so 90% of the time I'm the one dealing with screaming baby and hyper toddler so don't feel confident on solo outings at the mo.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 18/02/2013 18:26

Would you consider a sling? Fwiw I think it's great she self settles at all!

FastFoodNational · 18/02/2013 18:31

Typing with one hand while feeding so this will be short, but my first was like this (except he screamed at home as well). My second is more like your friend's baby. My guess from here is that your DD finds it too stimulating when out. All you can do is ignore the family. I had everyone trying all their 'magic tricks' to settle DS and everyone eventually had to admit defeat. Anyway not much help but I know how you feel.

RandomMess · 18/02/2013 18:33

Mine have varied but have had both kinds.

A fantastic trick I learned (with my 4th) is that all her daytime naps at home were in the travel cot, I could then take the travel cot with me and she would sleep in it anywhere else...

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noblegiraffe · 18/02/2013 18:33

Mine wouldn't self settle anywhere! You need to find a reliable way of getting her to sleep when out and about to stop the stress. Rocking? Pushing pram back and forth? Timing outings with naps so she sleeps in the car there and on the way back?

QTPie · 18/02/2013 18:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ubik · 18/02/2013 18:52

They are all different.

If she diesn't settle anywhere just keep telling yourself it's a sign if intelligence

Fairylea · 18/02/2013 18:55

No advice but both of mine will only ever sleep (nap) at home in their cots, in the dark with no noise at all! If we go out anywhere they just won't sleep at all!

Sigh. You're not alone.

mermaid101 · 18/02/2013 19:06

My DD was/is pretty much the same. When she was the same age as yours, I just generally stayed in at nap time and went out before and/or after. I didn't mind too much, however I realise this is not for everyone.

Even if you wanted to do this, is it possible with a 3 year old? I've only one DD, so I've no idea what it's like with two!

VisualiseAHorse · 18/02/2013 19:29

Mine prefers to sleep at home in the dark. If I'm having trouble while out I excuse myself to a dark room (ask the hosts where would be best). There's normally a quiet bedroom I can sit in while he falls asleep and then pop him into his buggy.

teacher123 · 18/02/2013 20:13

Try a snooze shade maybe? They're like black out blinds for the pushchair/car seat, which means DS will sleep when out and about. DS will sleep in travel cots as he's used to them (9 1/2mo) but any nap anywhere but home (and sometimes including at home tbh) is a bit hit and miss.

brainonastick · 18/02/2013 20:16

It's not just you. Dd1 was like this, we basically had to time everything around naps at home. Dd2 is very good at sleeping anywhere - I nearly crashed the car when I looked back at dd2 when she was a few months old, and she'd just quietly fallen asleep!

It'll be less of a problem when the daytime naps are dropped.

Original poster

muminneedofsleep · 18/02/2013 21:15

Thank you all so much I really appreciate you taking the time to get back to me. Lo won't sleep in pram and once while shopping I covered the pushchair with a muslin and she screamed so loud people stared at me like I was hurting her. Maybe I need to work on my confidence a bit more I do tend to worry about what people think especially when it's family. Think ill invest in a sling and black out net and see how we go...thanks again

OP posts:

RandomMess · 18/02/2013 21:51

I would try the travel cot thing, some babies like familiarity to sleep.

SuperDuperTrooper · 19/02/2013 16:10

My DS was the same at that age. Anytime I met with friends I always had to leave at nap time whist they all sat around chatting with babies fast asleep on them. Drove me mad at the time! As he got older he was more willing to sleep in his pram whilst out but would still sometimes resist sleep. Now at one year old I still tend to prefer to be in familiar surroundings for his nap as I know he will take it. He is awful when he hasn't slept enough!

Queenie72 · 19/02/2013 16:21

My 2 sons are the same!! I used to get annoyed when my friends could stay out or walk round the shops while I had to be home for ds1 nap, but to be honest and this is a generalisation and is only from my experience I have found that the children who have their sleeps in a cot are generally
much better sleepers at night ! I have one friend in particular whose dd would literally sleep anywhere but was a rubbish sleeper at night and still is at 3 and was always tired . I still use a sling for ds2 and he is 1 it is v soothing for them and he has never once cried in it !
I have always gone out in the mornings and then been at home for afternoon sleep in a few months dc may drop morning sleep and you will then have mornings free ? Our dcs are obviously v exacting about where their sleep as their little brains are going to be so amazing !!!

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