Introducing a bedtime story

[vvviola]

As part of an attempt to wean the boob monster DD2 from breastfeeding (to sleep & generally), I'm trying to lengthen her bedtime routine (teeth-breastfeed to sleep was the height of it before). She's almost 18 months old.

I'm trying to introduce a bedtime story but it seems to be a bit of a disaster. She won't lie in the cot and listen, if I try to read it with her on my lap she's so busy turning pages and closing and opening the book that my plan of a nice cuddle and a book eventually replacing the feed just doesn't look possible.

This evening I fed her, tried the story and cuddle and ended up having to feed her again to try to settle her down Huggle Buggle Bear is clearly a highly stimulating read

Any suggestions on how I can make this work? I honestly can't remember how it worked with DD1, but she had been on a bottle for a long time by this age.

Or any clever bedtime routine/finishing breastfeeding ideas would be very welcome too...

My DS is the same with wanting to play with books so we've been listening to stories (Winnie the Pooh right now) on cd or on my phone. I'm not sure if he's really listening, but I enjoy them! After bottle and brushing teeth, we get in to bed and I turn off the light and we cuddle during the story.

The wanting-to-turn the pages stuff and get involved is part of the fun - just relax and go with it. She's too little to listen to a proper story with any kind of sequential narrative, so one of those books that just has lots of stuff on the pages to look at and point out would probably be better.

At 18 months DS only liked short lift the flap books or That's Not My ...

He needed to be physically involved and it needed to be short.

Yes, agree that they don't have the patience generally for a 'proper' story at this age. Although both of mine quite liked the ones with a good rhythm, like Dr Seuss and Hairy McClairy.

Let her! She'll get the idea.

We stopped bedtime feeds by introducing a beaker of milk so ds was too full. Then I got DH to do the routine on occasion. Then I started distracting him. The feed was always last and it stopped working ie he stopped falling asleep after it from around 18 months.

So routine was: beaker of milk, story, BF, bed which became milk, story, bed

Also she wont accept a story in exchange for a warm cuddly BF without a fight....

Oh iggly, I know all about the fight... We've been trying to wean from bf since she was about 14 months (for various reasons including her allergies & my need for longer than 2 hours sleep in a row). This is just my latest attempt at the battle (I not have stuck with it very long the previous times).

What I'm hoping is that we'll eventually get to a stage like you where the bf can naturally drop. Especially as she doesn't always fall asleep while bf now (although she does have to be very drowsy or she won't settle)

I think your feeding to sleep? We moved from feeding to sleep, and trying to get into cot without disturbing, to feeding to sleep, disturb slightly, sing nursery rhyme and into cot. He then naturally seemed to stop falling asleep during the feed, and we had a nursery rhyme before into bed.
We moved from that to a story.
Worth trying?

Now DS1 is much older (3), we also talk about what we've done that day, and what the plan is for tomorrow.

What allergies? My dd reacts to stuff via me so I have cut them out. Had to do it with ds too. Was hard!

Can you give her milk in a beaker? We used oatly (calcium enriched free of dairy and soya). That helped break the link. Also once ds was in a bed, I could put him in the bed and"forget" to feed him. Sometimes he'd ask and I'll say yes but other times he didn't as he was used to doing without with DH.

Just an idea but my DD loves 'grow stories' - no books involved I just make them up! Usually involve her and her friends doing something that we normally do - I.e having a walk in the woods - when suddenly we come across a... and on I waffle!! Might be worth a try?

I'm dreadful at those made up on the spur of the moment stories, but DH is brilliant - might see if I can rope him in occasionally (he works late a fair bit so isn't reliably around at bed time)

Iggly - dairy & egg allergies. I've been off them too since we found out almost a year ago. It's hard but not impossible. It's more the inability to leave the house after 7pm that's the problem & I think at this stage total weaning is the only way to go (she only feeds during the day at nap time - and then only if she hasn't gone asleep in the car or buggy)

Nextphase: to be really honest at the moment it goes: breastfeed til drowsy, put in cot. Rub back while she wriggles around. 20 minutes later end up having to breastfeed again. Put in cot very drowsy. Repeat 2 or 3 times until the drowsiness is enough that she closes her eyes almost instantly.

Not exactly speedy or simple. So I'm trying to get a good routine going in the hopes that a bit of structure (for both of us!) might help matters.

DS only started having a story after he was 2. Before that, he wouldn't sit still for long enough, or was so desperate for boob he'd get annoyed if I even suggested it.

Then the CM got him a book he really liked, and he figured out he could bf while I read it to him ('boo time read it same time Mummy' ). So we'd do that on my bed then I'd put him in the cot asleep.

Then we moved him into a bed a month or so ago and he suddenly seems happy to go off to sleep himself, as long as I'm sitting next to him. So routine now is bath, pjs, bf in his bed while reading story, I get out of bed not always easy, read story again, lights off, cuddle then he turns on his tummy and I rub his back til he's asleep. Takes five mins.

But none of that would have happened until he was ready and could understand that his bed is for sleeping, Mummy's getting out of bed now, etc. Also if he starts horsing around after I turn the light off, all I have to do is say, 'Mummy will go downstairs...' and he immediately behaves

Now trying to stop all daytime bfs and just leave the bedtime one, but again now he's older it's easier to distract him with biscuits

So maybe just hang on until DD seems more interested in stories?

Yeah, CountBapula, proper story reading may have to wait - but I think I need to insert the idea into the bedtime routine - if only for an extra step to make it something other than teeth/breastfeed/bed IYSWIM.

Yup, definitely know what you mean. That's what we struggled with, too. But it's only now he's older we've been able to do it. Before that he'd just cry for boob so it was a bit pointless. So it might just be one of those annoying things that sorts itself out with time.

The real difference was getting DH to do the routine with a beaker of milk. We started this from around 16/18 months. Then he could put ds to bed without me. We didn't give up the bedtime boob until closer to 2 when dd was almost here and I couldn't do it anymore

To clarify - DH would do story and beaker then I'd BF. then sometimes i'd be out and made a big deal of telling ds I was out before bedtime so he didn't look for me. It was a gradual process.

*waves

Stick with it, enjoy looking at the pictures and talking about them...it doesn't matter what order they're in. Lose your image of what 'should' be happening! Eventually, once she's enjoying the stories you can start to point out little words. The most important thing is to introduce reading as fun for her.....Good for you!! x