Hi everyone, i'm new on here and i hope this is the right forum to post this. i've joined here as i seriously need some advice. I am a mum of 5 boys aged 13, 10, 7, 4 and my youngest is coming up for 12 months. I am 38 and had my eldest son Luke when i was 25. My husband fathered all 5 of our sons. He has been obsessed about having a girl since our first was born and each time i conceived he was hoping it would be a girl. I was never bothered what i had but i am very happy that i have boys and don't feel that i am missing out by not having girls. My boys can be a handful but i love them to bits!
The thing is at 38 and with 5 children already i feel i have had enough and don't want anymore. in a way i had kind of had enough after number 4 was born but hubby wanted to try again for a girl. I agreed to try again but told him that i didn't want anymore after this one. He accepted this at the time. But now he is pestering me about trying once again for a girl! I really don't want anymore kids! And what happens if we try again and its another boy? Will he be wanting to try a 7th time? I told him when we were trying for Russell (my 5th son) that whether its a boy or girl i didn't want anymore after that and he accepted it at the time but now he is on at me all the time to try again.
It is causing tension and a lot of arguements as i am saying no and he just keeps on. His motheralso pressures me as she only has grandsons and moans about wanting a granddaughter. I feel that while he is so busy obsessing over having a girl he is missing out on simply enjoying the gift of having 5 beautiful sons. He barely spends much time with Russell as he (in his own words) 'finds it hard to deal with him not being a girl'
I don't feel that it is fair that he is doing this (and his mother) i am not a baby making machine. Some people would do anything to be parents and would love a child of any gender. And here we are with 5 healthy wonderful sons and my hubby is moaning because he wants a girl. The boys are also picking up on the tension between us and its making things very miserable in our house. We had such a bad fall out a few months ago that he moved in with his mother for a few weeks. Now he is back and tonight we had another huge row. I love my husband but i think he is just going to keep pestering me and bullying me into agreeing to try again and i am determined that i'm not going to.He has also said he will leave me and our boys and find someone else to give him a daughter!
What can i do? i don't want us to split up but i think if this carries on we will.I love my husband but i love my boys more and if this carries on i will choose them over him because i don't want my sons living in such an unhappy atmosphere, its unfair on them. But what really upsets me and bothers me is him not being a proper dad to the boys. And if he was to carry thru his threat to leave then he will be even less of a dad to them! it breaks my heart cos i know the boys pick up on how their dad feels. They just want a dad who loves them, not a dad who looks at them and wishes they were daughters.