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inappropriate playdates

4 replies

Sugarmag · 29/04/2006 08:32

I posted a thread a while back about "inappropriate playdates" for DD (I tried to link to it but can never find anything when I search the archives!).

To recap briefly, DD,now 5, is one of the oldest in her class at nursery and there's lots of lovely kids in her class that she plays with regularly. A few weeks ago, DD got invited to a playdate with a girl in the younger class who is nearly 2 years younger than her. I didn't really know how to say no so I reluctantly agreed to it. I didn't think they would have a terrible time, I knew DD would be able to find things to keep herself amused, it just didn't seem like the most suitable arrangement.

So said playdate has now taken place adn I was right on both counts - DD did not have a terrible time but it was not the most suitable arrangement. First of all, as soon as this other child's older siblings came home from school my DD abandoned the younger girl to go off and play with the big kids. Second of all, the other mum kept expressing her amazment at the things my DD is capable of, like telling the time and writing lots of words, not just her own name. I had tried on a few occassions to subtly point out the age difference between the two girls and how, at this age, that can mean quite a big developmental gap. But she just doesn't seem to have any insight into any of this!! Her wee girl is lovely but really is more on a level with my DS who is almost 3.

Now I'll be expected to have this girl back and I really, really don't want to. I can obviously, just not extend the invitation. But what do I do when the other mum starts pushing for it (and I'm pretty sure she will)?

Also, adn I know this may be a trivial thing to some, but I know for a fact her DD still has toileting accidents. Having foudn the whole toilet training process totally traumatic with my own two (and DS having finally cracked it!) I really don't want to have to be responsible for someone else's child in that respect.

So what do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Crackle · 29/04/2006 09:46

Arrange to meet in a park with some other kids and mums too. Pressure off.:)

Socci · 29/04/2006 09:56

It does seem odd that the other mother would try to encourage a friendship between two chidren who have a big age gap like that.

QE · 29/04/2006 10:06

Agree with crackle. Meet somewhere neutral where you are still each responsible for your own kids. It's a tricky one to make excuses when she is pushing for a return date though, I admit. Maybe once you've made 2 or 3 excuses in a row, she'll get the hint?

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MadamePlatypus · 29/04/2006 11:14

Maybe the little girl looks up to your DD and is always talking about her at home? I think Crackle's suggestion is good. Presumably your dd will be moving on soon, so it shouldn't be a long term problem.

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