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Parenting

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Original poster

I let my six month old to cry last night...

19 replies

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:12

I have two other children who just started sleeping through (oldest is five years..) so while I have pandered to my oldest with regards to sleeping and didn't give him good sleeping habits because of that- I fear that I am going the other way now with the baby .. And expect him to sleep well. The baby seems to wake up once to twice per night for bf. he has a small bowl of baby rice for dinner and is mixed fed, breast and bottle.

Unsure what to do now, feel bad about letting the baby cry (it was about an hour), but I am so tired with the kids and working fulltime so would like to try and sort out his sleep sooner rather than later (after five years of sleep hell).

But after one night of letting him cry, do you continue or should I go back to night feed him, am confused. Please help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ilovepowerhoop · 16/02/2013 08:31

At 6 months and not properly onto solids then he could well be hungry in the night. Mine were bottle fed and ds never stopped his night feed until 8 months old and that was after me gradually reducing the amount in the night feed until he stopped waking for it. Did you go to him at all and try and settle him or did you just leave him to cry?

Original poster

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:34

I let him cry :(

OP posts:

blindlyovertherainbow · 16/02/2013 08:36

Others will know a lot more about it than me, but it's my understanding than sleep training and night weaning from feeds are two separate things. A 6 mo baby is likely to continue to need night feeds for a little while, and is probably hungry at night.
It's totally exhausting, I know.

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Original poster

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:36

Mind you my older kids had a night feed (first bf, then when they were older a bottle of milk) until they were two and FOUR.... :(

I am sure they weren't hungry but found it a lovely thing to do in the middle of the night...

OP posts:

Original poster

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:37

What age can I start sleep training? Thanks for your replies btw, am truly confused and sad about this..

OP posts:

scarlettsmummy2 · 16/02/2013 08:38

He was probably hungry. Could you not have breast fed him in bed oft made a bottle up before you went to bed? My 12 month old still takes a bottle at about 5am. I thought this was pretty normal.

AmandinePoulain · 16/02/2013 08:38

Will he be settled in other ways? Dd2 is 6 months and was sleeping through from 10 weeks, until we all caught the horrendous flu bug going around about a month ago. She started waking for feeds a few times a night, and then once recovered seemed to have got into the habit of waking at 12ish and 4ish. After a few weeks of this (I was recovering from the bug myself so exhausted) I started giving her a dream feed at 9/10 when I went to bed, and then just soothing her at 4. She's still waking at that time but instead of feeding her I sit with her 'patting' her and stroking her face and within 10 minutes she's usually back to sleep. She also likes to use a muslin as a comforter, she holds it over her face and sucks it. Obviously once she's asleep I take it back off her. Could he just want the reassurance that there's someone there rather than milk?

AmandinePoulain · 16/02/2013 08:41

I meant to add that I don't pick her up - dh did one night and she roared when he tried to put her back into the crib, it took about an hour to resettle her then.

Indith · 16/02/2013 08:42

Do you have anyone to help you at night?

Often you can get them to drop feeds by handing them over to daddy at night, they can rock and cuddle and pat to try to settle them without leaving them to cry. Usually if not hungry then they will go back off fairly soon. If the baby isn't settled after around 20 mins of daddy cuddles then he probably is hungry and you can feed and maybe try again in a few weeks when having more solids.

Still needing a night feed is perfectly normal at this age, keeping giving one now won't mean you still are at 4 with this baby :)

Original poster

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:44

I fed him at 11pm last night , and he has a cough :( so not feeling well might've woken him up...
Thanks, good idea about comforting but not feeding in the early hours.

OP posts:

Original poster

crazycrush · 16/02/2013 08:48

DH won't be able to help with this...
I guess I just have to do it a few more months :( (whine) but I guess I should be happy to have three healthy kids.

Hopefully I haven't traumatised the baby :(

OP posts:

Indith · 16/02/2013 09:09

It will pass. You've hit rock bottom right now and that's ok, we've all been there. You won't have traumatised the baby. All those studies that come out against leaving the baby to cry show that is is repeated prolonged crying that may affect the brain so leaving him once won't have done anything. You could have the same issue getting stuck in a traffic jam.

In all honesty if he only wakes once or twice he may well be hungry and may drop those feeds himself in a few weeks. Otherwise try comforting without feeding for 15-20 mins to see if he resettles.

wellieboots · 16/02/2013 09:15

Why can't your DH help? If you felt desperate enough to leave your baby to cry for an hour, then you need to ask for some help. If you want to try settling without feeding, then your DH is the ideal person to do that surely?

I hope you are OK OP, you sound so sad and exhausted. Keep talking to us and hope you can also get support in RL

Original poster

crazycrush · 17/02/2013 08:22

DH just isn't up to helping with this for various reasons.

Am taking baby to the health visitor next week for weighing etc. I ll talk to them too. i will keep night feeding for now and will start soothing without feeding once solids are a bit mor established if weight etc is ok. Thanks for your replies they helped me get the energy to continue.

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Indith · 17/02/2013 08:42

Good plan :)

Your HV will probably tell you that he doesn't need feeding at night now so be prepared for that. What she means though is that he doesn't need feeding in the way a smaller baby must be fed in order to thrive. Your baby won't waste away if you don't feed him but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel hungry. this website might make you feel better about things too. It is a fabulous mine of information about infant sleep. ALL of it backed up by studies. The statistics about the number of children sleeping through at various ages are frequently a great comfort to me!

We can be sleep buddies if you like as we are about to try to get ds2 off the breast at night. He has a nasty sore throat and cough at the minute though so not starting just yet.

Original poster

crazycrush · 17/02/2013 17:15

Cool. How old is your baby? Will probably night wean soon too. Lets see. I think it'll be better for all of us.

OP posts:

Indith · 17/02/2013 17:17

mine is 11 months and fast coming up a year.

Original poster

crazycrush · 17/02/2013 17:31

Ok. That's the right time to do it I reckon. Lets see what we'll do.

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SquidgersMummy · 19/02/2013 11:42

Hey OP how's it going? 28wk dd over here still having two night feeds, despite good weaning - and even more waking with teething so just adding my sympathies! Am shattered today with only one DD and on mat leave still: 3 DCs, working FT, running a house and not having much DH back up must be HARD. Any family or domestic help you can rope in?? X

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