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Back to work separation anxiety nightmare - please help

1 reply

Tolly81 · 14/02/2013 15:19

I've just gone back to work PT (30 hours) and have a 9mo DD. Its my second week back but I do some 13hr shifts, my first one was this week. I'll be doing nights this w/end. My DD used to sleep reasonably well. Asleep between 6:45-7:15 each night, usually one wake-up in the early hours, then slept till about 6:15 (which is when dh gets up anyway so not a big problem). She'd also have 2 naps for me - usually 2hrs in the mirning (in her cot) and 30 mins in the afternoon. I have to admit I always put her down asleep, but she'd usually stir, turn over and touch her cot bumpers, and go back to sleep. She has had quite bad separation anxiety since 6m but now this is on another level. She literally screams if I leave the room (even if I keep speaking to her and reassuring her and if I'm just round the corner) or screams even if I put her down facing away from me.
Now she'll still go to sleep at the same time in the evening but when she wakes during the night (and is a bit less exhausted) and I put her back down in her cot she stirs and she immediately snaps her eyes open and starts screaming. It took 2 hours to get her back yo sleep in the night. The same is happening for daytime naps.
I have once tried putting her down awake then leaving her crying for a short time and she got so worked up she was sick everywhere, plus I was ok with her sleeping so I never felt the need to put her down awake so I've made no further attempts. I generally feed her to sleep or if she wakes in the night just hold her quietly until she goes back off. She is quite a restless sleeper and has never co-slept as she finds our presence too stimulating and doesn't have much room to move about.
I think this is all related to separation anxiety but its my day off today and she hasnt napped, I've had to take her in the bathroom to shower and go to the toilet, and shes cranky and exhausted. This is all making me feel guilty, miserable exasperated and exhausted and I'm sure dd feels the same! Please help.

OP posts:
Karoleann · 14/02/2013 21:23

Yes, I'm sure you're right it is seperation anxiety.
Have you tried shhhhh pat? Put her in the cot and gently pat her rhymically making shhhhing noises ( know it sounds mad but it does work). After you've fed her or rocked her. During the day I'd just put her in the buggy and get her to sleep that way.
It is prime age for separation anxiety and she will get used to you not being there all the time. You just need to get through the next few weeks.

Good luck x

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