Lost my rag over something trivial, hate myself

[DitaVonCheese]

Just lost my rag over something really stupid and ended up yelling at dd in the street and hitting a box of ice cream cones. Now filled with self loathing. We weren't even having a bad day. Any words of wisdom, or the flaming I deserve?

Cut yourself some slack. If you noticed you were even doing it, that's a sign it isn't an everyday occurence.

Thinking back can you pinpoint what made you erupt? Are you tired or under par, was she attempting something risky or not paying heed to what you were saying? What age is DD?

After school or nursery she is likely flagging or overtired and hyper. Are you okay now, is she interacting normally with you? Do you have other DCs to break the atmosphere? Can you 'hand over' to another adult soon?

Concentrate on the rest of the time before bedtime. Is there an ongoing irritation or was it a one off? I hope you can kiss and cuddle when you can or by the time she is in bed.

PS My mum never in her life apologised or gave reasons for doing anything to us. Her word was law. In her eyes, I went too far the other way trying to reason with my DCs. There has to be a happy medium. If you are aware of losing your rag, don't be afraid to apologise to her.

it happens to the best of us.

i smacked dd on the bottom today as she was going upstairs. it was meant to be a comedy smack, but i suddenly got really cross and it wasn't so funny. i absolutely do NOT believe in smacking and think it is pretty disgraceful and all about me and my lack of control over my feelings, rather than anything to do with dd.

however, i am not going to put my hairshirt on, as that will not help either of us.

put it behind you. do not hate yourself, that is the last thing she needs. be kind to yourself, and if at all possible get some time away from her.

chin up - she's fine.
x

Yes I second the above - we all lose it at times, definitely don't berate yourself for it. If you find yourself losing it all the time, then perhaps you should be taking a look at how you are coping and if you need more support, help, time to yourself etc, but the odd moment of irrational rage over something trivial (usually because dc has gradually driven you to that point over a period of time) is normal and even inevitable as a mum. I lost it in John Lewis (dreadful place to lose your rag - full of middle class folk who probably had nannies [bad stereotype - I love the place!]) and yelled at ds then proceeded to drag him by the arm through the store. He hadn't even done anything particularly bad, was just being a bit lively. I was totally OTT and my awareness of that made me all the madder! And mortified. If you shout unreasonably, definitely apologise. It will clear the air and it is a good lesson in life to teach your children that when you mess up, you should say sorry. Don't feel bad, I'm sure you're doing a great job - we all of us are just muddling along somehow and trying not to screw up too badly or often!

Thank you for all being so nice to me I don't react well to losing control, I was punished for being angry as a child so always feel as though I've done something terribly wrong when it happens :(

DD is four and seemed fine actually. We had lots of cuddles and I told her I was sorry a few times (probably too many ).

It all came out of nowhere really. She hadn't been to preschool, we'd been to a group and were having a nice morning, then it all kind of blew up really suddenly. I know I'm the type of person who, if two things go wrong at once, immediately feel like EVERYTHING is going wrong, which doesn't help. I think a lot of different things all got on top of me all at once all of a sudden, and I was particularly upset because I felt like I've been doing so much better recently.

Anyway, will stop blathering. Thank you again.