Tips to get 5 yr old to take responsibility?

[hex]

Does anyone have any tips to encourage a 5 year old to take responsibility for bad behaviour? My dd1 makes excuses (it wasn't me, I didn't do anything) - I mean it's not as though I'm about to dole out harsh punishment. Do kids have some inbuilt mechanism in terms of defencism??

yes they do have an inbuilt defence mechanism

I get my just 5 ds1 to ake responsibility by spelling out the long chain of consequences to his actions eg: if you call your little brother a bum bum head and poke him he will pick up the plastic golf club and whack you on the head with it, you will cry, I will have no sympathy and we won't be going to the playground.

I also do a good line in omnipresence and omnivision. Keeps him on his toes

HTH

I know the feeling hex. Wearing isn't it?
I'm a great believer in trying to get them to 'make good' what they've done. So if they make a mess, they clear it up. If they get felt pen all over their clothes, they put them in the washing machine.

I also use bribery. Five minutes before meal/snack time I make them tidy up saying 'no-one will be having any food until this it all put away' etc.

I think you're talking about trying to instill a sense of personal responsibility for ones actions as a post to blaming others though, which I have singularly failed to do.

I use the 'choose the behaviour, choose the consequences' method too.

He knows he has a choice how he behaves and so he chooses the outcome.

I have come across older kids though who seem to have some measure of self-reflection. eg. 'I shouldn't have done that cause it really upset my parents'. How on earth do they reach this stage? I'm sure I should be trying to explain the bad behaviour and consequences in a very articulate calm and collected way as opposed to just snapping sometimes. Does anyone never snap - and are your kids more responsible as a result? I'd be interested in knowing.

i believe snapping has it's place, certainly. They know that when mum goes red mist it's a lesson to be learned and it sticks. You have to choose your moments though, don't sweat the very small stuff

And no fannying around over the big stuff. DH speaks Chinese to the kids and there is no "maybe it would be a good idea if you didn't put nutella in the dvd player darling" They tell it like it is and my boys are, on the whole, very responsive and well mannered.