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i am so useless!

2 replies

Booyhoo · 12/02/2013 21:04

i have no clue how i should have dealt with this today. i basically did nothing.

when i collected ds1(7) from afterschool club he was holding his stomach and before even saying hello to me he said that a boy had punched him. at this afterschool club parents must wait outside and the children basically pour out the door and there is a massive crowd/rush of people so i couldn't move anywhere for a few seconds and i couldn't hear ds properly so once the crowd had moved i asked him what had happened and he said he was playing with a boy just as they were waiting to leave and another boy punched him. i asked if he told the leader and he said no as it was then time to go. well i didn't know what to do. should i have gone in and spoken to the leader or should i talk to the school. ds knows the boy's first name and class he is in but that's it. what, if anything would school/ASC do if i did say something? and what do i say? i cant believe how shit i was at dealing with this. so pissed off with myself and ds probably thinks i dont care. i just told him that next time something like that happens he must tell the leader straight away. but what's the point of telling him that if he can see that i didn't do that when he told me?

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ProcessYellowC · 12/02/2013 22:42

I don't have pearls of wisdom but definitely don't think you should be so hard on yourself at all. It was probably best for your DS to get home as soon as, rather than waiting around.

If I was in your situation I'd probably send a brief note "xx says yy punched him at ASC last night" in the homework book and request five minutes with the ASC leader/someone else appropriate to find out how they will try to make sure that it isn't going to happen again. They should take it seriously.

And my DS is a couple of years younger than yours, but I find a little honesty in simple words goes a long way - eg "I'm sorry if you thought I didn't care, I got a big shock and was upset for you last night" - that's all it takes to show him that you do care. And if you are able to break the ice with that, you could have a loosened up chat about how you both felt and that would hopefully lead into a chat where you might get a few more details - for me I'd deffo want to check that this boy hasn't done anything else to your DS, and I'd also want to check this wasn't the conclusion of a punching competition between both boys.

I do hope your DS is ok and that this was a one-off and you deserve some Brew

Booyhoo · 12/02/2013 23:29

thank you, oh yes i actually assumed it had been as a result of both boys punching each other and just that DS lost the 'game' but i asked him and he was adamant that he hadn't even been talking to this boy that punched him, he was playing with another boy. this was all said on the walk home and he was still upset though so i will talk with him again in the morning and depending on how that turns out i will send a note in. i feel crap, ds2 was been really interrupting (he is 3) and kept talking over ds1 and I and i know ds1 felt he wasn't getting my full attention and then once home it was dinner, homework, bath and bed so we didn't get to discuss it again. i should have done though.

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