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Parenting

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Original poster

parents of 11 yo's please advise

18 replies

MerlinsBeard · 27/04/2006 21:14

My 11 yo half brother is coming to stay for 2 weeks while my dad goes away with his gf(long story), turns out he gets up goes to school comes home for tea then gOes out again till 9. EVERY DAY! is this normal for an 11 yo? if hes not out at the weekend hes on msn.

I don't really recall if i went out alot when i was 11 and its not as if it was that loing ago (i'm 24)

What do 11 yo's do anyway??

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Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 21:21

It depnds on what he's doing when he's out - going somewhere organised, a friend's house or just roaming the streets. 9 is a little late for me anyway) and what about homework, bath etc?

RTKangaMummy · 27/04/2006 21:23

Is he in senior school or junior?

My DS is 10 nearly 11 and he deffo does NOT go out at all

He has started going on MSN but not for long though

He writes stories on computer, does drawings, makes comics, and then takes them to school and shares them round his friends

Plays with lego

goes swimming and fencing club and drama club

goes to friends houses or has them here

BUT never 'til 9.00

but we live in countryside so no neighbourhood kids around iyswim

Original poster

MerlinsBeard · 27/04/2006 21:25

hes year 7 so first year seniors. Think hes at his friends house tbh. maybe just my dads idea of parenting to send em out, don't recall spending much time with him when i was little (altho he did leave when i was 7!)

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RTKangaMummy · 27/04/2006 21:27

Is it possible for him to see his friends when with you

I think they prob grow up alot when at senior school

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MerlinsBeard · 27/04/2006 21:29

hoping to have his friends over one night for an xbox-fest and a pizza

suddenly made me feel soooooooo out of touch! i used to run a youth group for 11 - 15 yo's lol!

Thanks, u know i will be posting more and more things till he gets here on tuesday evening don't u?!

I asked him what his favourite meal was and b4 he could answer my dad answered for him, sausage, chips and beans ready meal :( poor thing. i WILL get him eating properly

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RTKangaMummy · 27/04/2006 21:31

Oke doke

I will try to help

Hope you can get him to eat real food

rosebea · 27/04/2006 21:33

I'm 24 and the elsest of 4 the youngest is 11 and my mum would never let her stay out that late on a school night.......If he's staying in your house then it's your rules. You really don't want to be worrying till 9 at night for the week!!!! If you're feeling brave let him have a friend round if not then dvd's and popcorn = brother sister bonding!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 27/04/2006 21:34

Bit of a baptism of fire mom! Good idea to get his mates over to yours so you can give them a sneaky once over

JanH · 27/04/2006 21:39

Not normal, no - much more common than years ago but not right, really. (There was a pic in our local paper this week of a bunch of Y7 boys from 15 years ago and it was really noticeable how un-grown-up and un-groomed they looked - just nice, normal kids with random haircuts!)

My DS is in Y8, just turned 13. He does go out some of the time after school, he's not skatey but kicks a ball around or rides his bike, him being out of the house from 4-9 would just be wrong.

It sounds as if your brother is very under-parented. As he's used to that I don't know if he would be glad of a bit of attention or resent it - I would hope the former, but play it by ear. Good luck

7up · 27/04/2006 21:46

my ds is 11 and comes home from school at 3.30, walks the dog, might go out to play till 5, has tea , does homework, plays with his little brother, watches tv , bath and bed by 9. no way would i let him play out that late unless we are at my mum/dads holiday caravan and then hes out running around till 10pm

Original poster

MerlinsBeard · 27/04/2006 21:47

difficult one really. he has only been living with my dad(or dad should i say) for about 9 months since his mum was seriously ill and then died. My dad has never been a proper parent and last looked after a child when i was 7!!

hard one this. thank you for posts everyone, much apprieciated (sp?)

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RTKangaMummy · 27/04/2006 21:50

He has had a hard time

Perhaps spending some time with you will be really good for him, hope so

Original poster

MerlinsBeard · 27/04/2006 21:50

currently finding weekend things to now with an 11 yo, a 3 yo and a 1 yo!!

cor this is hard! maybe i should just see what happens!

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RTKangaMummy · 27/04/2006 21:52

My DS loves playing with the children I childmind

So hopefully he will enjoy playing with them too

JanH · 27/04/2006 23:10

DS2 enjoys playing with little kids because he hardly ever has the chance - as your brother is normally left to his own devices he may love being around your little ones too - and being an uncle - wow!

Hope it all goes really well - I bet he'll want to come again. Very sad that he has lost his mum, but your family could help fill the gap a bit.

sallystrawberry · 27/04/2006 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 27/04/2006 23:32

You could try taking all three of them to a local park after school, then the 11 year old is still having some time out ( as a family).

I don't think it's that normal for an 11 year old to be out every night till 9.00 pm. When does he do his homework or have his supper? YOur half brother may have a homework planner from school so you can see what he's meant to be doing.

My year 7 son is allowed to play out and go to the common to play football with his friends. He likes to let off steam especially at this time of year, when the evenings are lighter. He may spend a few hours outside after school at the moment, but this fits in around homework, supper and bath so he doesn't stay out continually.

I bet your half brother will love having you all there. He might be hungry for your company and want to chat over his day. hope it works out.

Original poster

MerlinsBeard · 28/04/2006 19:34

Thank you for your lovely words of support :) guess i am just worrying about nothing and he will be ok really.

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