7 year old DS heartbroken at best friend's rejection

[javierbademswife]

Hi - I'm new to the boards but felt compelled to join because my DS is so upset at the moment and I really need some advice.

My DS is 7 and a lovely, intelligent and sensitive little boy. He has a best friend who over the past year he has had a great time with, they generally get on like a house on fire and make each other laugh a lot. The friend is quite a strong character and quite tough - in that he rarely cries or worries and is very confident. DS is quite easily worried and upset.

Anyway, at the weekend DS's friend had a birthday party and because they are special friends he got asked to stay over for a sleepover (DS's first). As far as I can tell, they had a great time and DS came back on a real high. However, since they have been back at school this week, his friend has started rejecting him and going off with another boy. The more vulnerable he sees DS being, the tougher he is on him.

I have spent this evening comforting him as he sobbed his heart out. He is absolutely heartbroken and I am in pieces seeing him like this. I just don't know how to handle the situation. I have told him to focus on his other friends and to try not to follow his BF around as if he is being unkind it will only make it worse, but he really doesn't understand this and I can see why. I don't know whether to talk to the friend's mum or if I should leave it. I am thinking of talking to his teacher tomorrow just to make her aware of how vulnerable he is feeling at the moment.

Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice on how to handle it?

Oh, bless hm. I'd def talk to his teacher. It might change again though so try to relax about it.

Poor boy, it must be really upsetting for him. I'd have a chat to the teacher to ask her to just chat to the class about friendship and being kind. Also, I'd ask your DS every morning to pick a boy to play with. Giving him a "task" for the day might help him.

Also, lots of cuddles, and giving him a treat to look forward to after school.

DS is sensitive so I know your pain. One thing that helps is that we live in a different area to the school so I encourage DS to play with children after school who don't go to his school - it helps him keep school in perspective. So maybe encourage some activities outside school?

It's a little power trip for the other boy unfortunately. I seemed to spend a large part of my school life as one of 3 so can honestly say, the more friends the merrier. Staying nice and not needy is the way to go. Best way to help your DS is to reassure him he is, of course, wonderful, and as has already been suggested, mention it to his teacher not in a can-you-sort-it-out-way obviously but just so she knows about it. Then see about getting your boy to join in with others, if necessary invite other children over for playdates or take someone else out with you for a small treat.

It's not worth trying to win his friend back, so to speak. Friendships with neighbouring boys or at some sporting activity outside school can really help.

Half term is due and they're all a bit tired so as long as you can firm up some casual arrangements with another classmate during the break, DS should feel less woebegone by the time he goes back.