Any guidance appreciated!

[StaticSockMonster]

I could do with so guidance if you can offer any. Sorry, this might be a long one.
My DS and I still live with my parents (he's 8) and I have never moved out of home.
I have bought a house with my partner that we are currently making it habitable so we cannot move in there for about another three/four months months.
But my parents make my life hell.
At least once a month they argue with me. Really shouting at me - I can never understand why. They tell me that its my attitude yet no one else has a problem with it (I have asked various people).
The arguing gets me down but what makes it a million times worse is the nonsense they fill my sons head with.
For example they say : I bully him, I don't love or care about him, I put my OH above him, he would be better off without me, he would be better living with his dad etc.
None of this is true. I dote on my son and he is my life.
They say all of the above in full earshot of my son which he then believes is true because they have said it.
I love my parents but the things they say when they are "in a mood" with me are very hurtful.
They helped me a lot when my ex and I broke up and have always been a massive part of DSs life. My mum takes my son to school so I can go to work part time. When he was younger and I not back to work after my maternity, she cared for him. I do not take them for granted and thank them all the time, do a lot of stuff around the house (cleaning, washing, tidying etc).
They have been having one of their "rants" at me tonight and as they often do threaten to "get social services involved". Now I know that this is just a threat but why would they say that? I do my best for my son but hear them speak I hate him, he is a hindrance to me and I don't want him.
I have told them to go ahead as anyone sane can see that I adore my boy.
After hearing the shouting and accusations from my dad tonight, my son has told me when I was attempting and failing to get him into bed that I am a bully, I hate him and I always hurt him. Oh, and that he's sick of me smacking him?? I don't smack him. I have him sit on the naughty step for a time out. But this is what my parents have filled his head with. (Whilst I was banished out of the room)
I have tried talking with them and explaining that if they have a problem with me then they need to approach me about it, not just start shouting around DS as it is not good for him to be around.

I just don't know what else to do.
The sooner we can move the better but what can I do until then?
I hope this all makes sense.
Any help would be very much appreciated.

Can you move in with your partner now? Get a short term let? Really it sounds as if your parents are making your DS sad so you need to move out now

I`m sorry to hear what you are going through Static.

Your relationship with your parents sounds very toxic. Have they always treated you like a wayward child? Has something in your personal history made them feel that you are not putting your son first? Or do they want to undermine you as a parent as payback for the fact that you will shortly be leaving them and taking their grandson from them?

It is very unhealthy for your DS to witness these scenes, you must stand up to them and refuse to be drawn into arguments when he is around.

Can you not move in with your DP from now - where is he living?

I can't get a short term let as we cannot afford the deposit with having the mortgage to pay (plus the current rent and bills at my partners house). My partner doesn't live very far away but it isn't possible to move with him as it is a 2 bed house and he has his daughter on a regular basis and there simply isn't room for all our belongings (and again, we couldn't afford to have stuff put into storage).
This is why we have bought a house that is big enough for us all.

I do think partly that my parents are not happy that we will be moving soon but they are making our time that we have left a nightmare and every time they shout at me they tell me to leave (and then add we don't mean DS and then get worse when I say, well where I go he goes which then escalates into a "you want to stop us from seeing him" scenario).

I also think that they have a real dislike for me. I have never been a favourite. It was always my brother and sister (I'm sure they would say it was always me thought!). But the honest feeling I get is no matter what I have ever done or will ever do, it will never be good enough.

I am just stuck. I try not to get dragged into arguments but when they stand yawping at me and slagging of my parenting skills I find it difficult.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to paint them as terrible people as they have been good to us but they are extremely unreasonable and I think bitter and somewhat jealous. I don't think they like the fact that I am happy with my life. I have an amazing son and a partner who treats my son and I well and makes us happy. But even that I get the " he won't want you once the house is finished, you mark my words" which then nags and makes me question our relationship. My partner is great and knows what they are like and knows that my doubts have nothing to do with our relationship and everything to do with the fact that my parents seem to not like me being happy.

Am I being selfish by wanting to have a better life with my son?
Maybe it's me.

Also, yes, they have always treated me like a child.
They seem to believe that I am completely reliant on them and I don't think that they can accept the fact that I aren't.
As far as I am aware, I don't do anything to give the impression that I don't put DS first.
They undermine my parenting constantly.
I appreciate their advice/suggestions but at the same time try to find my own way. Even when I follow their advice they tell me I'm wrong so it's a vicious circle really.

It sounds to me like a power struggle, Static. They are perhaps finding it difficult to see you as an independant person; as you are still living at home they expect to exert influence over you.

You are ready to move on to a new phase in your life, which will upset the balance of your relationship with them. You will no longer be in the position of dependant child which circumstances have apparently kept you in, and which they possibly enjoy. Are you the youngest child?

You are not selfish in wanting a better life with your son. They are selfish in not sharing your happiness that you have found a great DP who cares about you both.

Grit your teeth for the next few months if you have no alternative to staying with them, but don`t let their nasty, insidious remarks make you doubt yourself.

I wish you every happiness with your DP and your new life.