Don't want to give sweet puddings as a reward but DD seems determined to see it that way?

[plipplops]

Sorry this is a bit long; I've got myself in a muddle. I don't like the idea of giving sweet puddings (eg ice cream, choc mousse) as a reward for DDs eating their dinner as I feel like I've seen too many accounts of overweight adults saying that's what they were given as children and it's affected their relationship with food (I'm not really overweight so this isn't really my experience, but I'm for some reason really overly worried about them having weight problems as adults). So if I give them something they don't like and they don't eat it they can still have pudding if it's available.

DDs (4 and 5) are very picky, and I'm really trying to introduce some new foods into their diet (but that's another thread...) Today I gave them risotto, DD1 proclaimed it 'disgusting' before she'd even tried it. Then she had a bite and announced it wasn't horrible but she wouldn't eat any more. DD2 tried a bite and said it was really horrible. I had a whole bowl it was fine btw. I said they could have some fruit (advice from a nutritionist friend of a friend who said always give them a piece of fruit if they don't eat a meal, I don't always do this though), and then a yogurt for pudding.

Then DD asks (while crying) whether if she eats the whole bowl if she can have some ice cream. I said no, and that I don't want her to eat anything she doesn't want to and she can just have a yogurt for pudding. Or if it tastes ok and she wants to eat it, that's fine (but didn't say she could have ice cream if she did). She cried a bit more and said 'but I really want some ice cream, if I eat it can I have some?'

I'm not sure where she gets this from. I want her to try new things and am determined to keep trying that, and will continue to be fairly strict at telling them they need to at least try a tiny bit. But now I'm all confused and wondering whether to just say "yes, eat the whole lot (I only give them tiny portions of new things) and you can have a treat for pudding". I think it would get them eating new things, I think a lot of the fussy eater thing from both of them is a control issue as opposed to a taste one, but I'm so worried about them becoming overweight adults with food issues that I'm tying myself in knots.

Any thoughts?? Please!?

You said no, stick to no.

I wouldn't allow fruit and yoghurt if they haven't eaten some dinner though, because logically if they are SO FULL they cannot even taste something, they are too full to eat other things.

I'm fine with sticking to my guns, I'm just not sure where to point my guns iyswim?! I suppose the question is whether giving them sweet puddings as a reward will be ultimately damaging. It's what so many other people seem to do and I do think it would work but for some reason I'm reluctant. They don't have any weight issues at all and I would just hate them to ever develop any

Me, my brother and sister were all bribed with pudding, and we are all overweight, my sister and I are obese. We were fat kids.

My sons have never been bribed with pudding, both are currently in healthy weight range and always have been.

Not saying anecdotes are evidence.

I think your approach is probably wise. Seeing sweet treats as a reward for being "good" makes an emotional connection. Ice cream should be an occasional treat.

Can you offer them a non food treat in order to encourage them to try new foods/eat what you have prepared?

My mum used to slip something new onto our plates then say that we ought to eat it first, then leave 'the best until last'.

The thing is ice cream isn't actually on offer today is it? Todays meal is risotto, fruit and yoghurt. eat which ever bits you want

Noone is having ice cream, it's a treat food not a meal food (we don't have it in the house, just when out say seaside/park etc or if bought in special for a party etc)

If you really can't stand the risotto then there is, in our house the option of weetabix or fruit. They are always available anyway (note not sugary cereal and not toast as at one stage one of mine would have lived on toast!).

Giving " sweet pudding as a reward, does it make you obese "?? No I don't think so really, at least no more than having treat foods as pudding more than occaisionally would anyway.

Surely it's the " eat it all up" attitude for what ever reason that makes you loose the regulation of if you are full or not?