Baby with serious rage issues...

[Gracie123]

My 2.7yr old has a serious rage problem and I don't know what to do

I spoke to the health visitor about it, and they sent me to a speech and language therapist (she is pretty non verbal) who said she's probably just frustrated and signed us off.

She literally has fits of rage that can last between 40minutes and 2 hours, during which time she screams and tries to climb up my legs, hitting me; but when I pick her up she writhes around pushing me away.

The last two days it's gotten so bad that she is literally foaming white saliva from her mouth and dribbling it all done her shirt.

It's pretty much started since she dropped her naps, but she will not nap, and now wakes between 2 and 4 am most nights to have another one of these rages. We can't just let her cry it out as she shares a bedroom with her autistic brother and he needs to sleep, so we take her down stairs, but nothing calms her. She just spends a few hours writhing and screaming on the living room carpet and eventually falls back asleep

She looks exhausted.

What can I do for her?

That must be so so hard, I really feel for you. My dd is much younger (nearly 2), so I haven't got experience of older toddler rages (yet). But things that help her when she's frustrated and overwrought - attention before she thinks about grouching too much (lots of cuddles, singing, tickling games etc.), quiet times when she's looking tired (a walk with the pushchair, sitting down to read together), regular snacks. Just a thought, has your dd got her last lot of molars or might they be causing her pain in the night? Hope you get some better advice soon and that things improve, you must be exhausted too.

Stop taking her downstairs - that's going to be incredibly disrupting. Can your DS move in with you for a while - so while you're fighting battles with your DD he can sleep? I really think taking her downstairs is going to be hugely counter-productive; night time is in the bed/cot sleep time, and it's just confusing to be in the "day" room.

I also think go back to the HV or failing that the GP. I know 2 year olds are capable of insane tantrums but this does sound above and beyond what she (or you) should be going through.

And the SALT sounds beyond shite - did they come up with any reason why she's non-verbal? Did they try to? That may well be the reason for the frustration, but someone needs to address why she's non-verbal.